I was blessed enough to take this shot overlooking my parents neighborhood after a spring storm. I knew a rainbow was going to appear, everything was right; the sun was bright and the rain was falling beyond it, God’s promise was going to manifest and I didn’t want to miss it.
As I type this I realize that we often do “miss” it. We don’t walk in His promises and the farther we walk away from them the harder it is to find them again.
For months now I’ve been faced with a mountain. A, what should be, simple problem to fix has made me furious with God and confused beyond reason as to why I can’t seem to overcome it.
My problem is just one example. I know many people who’ve struggled their whole lives looking for the answer, whether that’s healing of the body, restoration of a relationship, or a dream come true.
I want more than anything to answer that deep seated question of “why?” And I know the response is always the same and never satisfying: “we live in a broken world and Jesus promised us we’d have trouble.”
But what did He mean by trouble? Didn’t He demonstrate with His own life what He meant? Trouble existed solely in the devil’s schemes, in the persecution of Christians and those who believe in Jesus.
He said the world wouldn’t accept us because it didn’t accept Him. That we may just have to face (and turn the other cheek) to verbal/physical abuse all in the name of Jesus. Many believers even suffer death at the hands of unbelievers weekly.
As far as I know and from what we’ve seen Jesus do. He never suffered illness, nor deformity. Never turned away someone asking for healing of such. And never dealt someone an ailment or injury in return.
No one can fully understand exactly what took place when Jesus died, what He did in death, and what it really signified when He arose from the grave. Likewise, no one can fully walk in all that He paid for.
You see He gave us back what was stolen from us in the garden. He bathed us and washed us white as snow, and He tore the veil, opened the symbolic gates of Eden and called us His new Holy temples!
Despite this, our minds are still caught up in the past. We spent so long as lost sheep, as slaves to sin, separated from God that we can’t readily/easily believe the Truth of the New Covenant.
We live our lives in the “in-between”, feeling broken and sinful and looking forward to eternity free of it. God wants you to live in the now and experience the freedom and gifts that Jesus has ALREADY given us.
Yes, Heaven and the new Earth will be amazing! But we are called to bring Heaven down today. To release the Holy Spirit to move through us in the Earth. What a privilege it is that we get to serve and demonstrate the love of God.
His love remains. Whether I am angry, confused, broken, and when I’m not seeing Breakthroughs. God is the same. I am the one who changes, the one who fails to get it right and see clearly the things of God.
For the first time in my life I began to experience what it felt like to pull away from God. And let me tell you that in pulling away I never felt so alone. Demons didn’t wait to torment me with thoughts and feelings that I used to never entertain.
I felt like Peter, taking his eyes off Jesus as he stepped out of the boat and stood upon the water. In no time at all he was sinking and afraid. Alone.
I’m still angry, I’m still hurting. And I still don’t have the answers I seek. But I know that pulling away from God isn’t the answer but the final blow. I won’t find my answer outside of Him, and so if I really want to have my answer I must do the opposite and run to Him.
Thank God He remains. He waits for us to return with open arms and forgiveness. I saw myself for what I am apart from Him and I really am nothing. If He isn’t the core of my being I don’t want this life, nor do I deserve it. I don’t even deserve the answer that I seek.
The rainbow in the sky signifies more than anything how lost we are. How God could very easily and rightfully have destroyed all of us. But instead He chose for us to continue. He wanted us to continue and to someday be reunited with Him.
Show Him that you aren’t done yet. That He can rely on you. That you love Him regardless of what you see and experience. Thank Him for all He has done and all the things He does that you don’t see. Thank Him for your life, your time here to fulfill your destiny and call. And know that you can never get “too” close to Him. There is always more, so much more.