“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”

Helen Keller

Thank you, everyone, for your support! I am truly amazed at all God is doing through this blog, I love writing and spreading God’s message. but there are also times when I need to hear those messages, to write them down in plain sight and remember them. I want this blog to continue to be God led, after all He has done in my life and continues to do, this blog is the least I can give in return. Among writing, I dream to grow in ministry, to find my specific call, whether that is worship, missionary work, teaching, or something else. This blog may just be the start of something more, and I couldn’t have made it this far without you.

Thank you for your feedback, I really value and appreciate your comments. And lastly, I just want to tell you guys that you’re all great writers! God has amazing things in store for each of you, never stop writing! God bless! ūüôā



old man by the sea

I grew up in a quiet town, off the coast aways. As time went on I came to know each and every face. Mr. Bete, the florist, who loved to sweep and gape, at every new visitor that came from out of state. And on a hill not far from home, lived a rich man and his wife, they kept their noses turned straight up at neighbors passing by. My school which had seen better days still seemed to come alive, and as the final bell did ring out ran the hungry tide. Those days all seem so long ago, each face has left or died. But this town still sits on timeless sand, forever intertwined.

Now I am far much older, closer to the end. Though the school bell still keeps ringing just as the clock ticks on my stand. Mr. Bete Jr. now is the florist hand, gaping like his father, at every passing man. The rich man and his wife, both died as did their wealth. The home is now in shambles, with not a penny on a shelf. Their faces still swim past my eyes, like ghosts that will not sleep. To truly live on in memories is really quite a feat. Maybe this is legacy, or I am too old to think. But it seems that though time passes by, in forever’s wake we’ll keep. As long as there are those alive, we live in memories.

Forever doesn’t hold a grudge, it remembers everything. The ugly and the beautiful, the happiness and grief. The shells by the ocean’s edge, the whisper in the trees. The laughter of an unknowing boy, at the age of 3. That is my story, as I have lived it, there is no mystery. My name is Walter Billingsley, and I’m now 83. I feel like I have lived forever, or have I lived at all? As I watch the tide recede, with my trusted dog, I cannot help but think, why are we here at all? There must be rhyme or reason, a rise after the fall, a purpose for every season, or forever makes no sense at all.



Victory: A Story

Warrior Woman Silhouette

The final battle. Nothing could describe it. A woman stood on a hill surveying the scene before her. Would she have been in her earthly body, her eyes would have been blinded by the radiating light, and her ears would have bled from the thunderous sound. As angels and man alike clashed against those destined for hell. Even she put off light, but it paled in comparison to the angels, who were fighting alongside man. Their swords were made of diamond, each strike sending fractured light in all directions. The demons carried swords of fire, and the light their bodies put forth had a blood red hue. For what purity and righteousness they were once made to carry as angels of God were forever tarnished by their deep hatred and sin.

The woman sought one man with her gaze and quickly found him, even among the chaos. Her earthly husband, fighting with the strength and determination of all mankind. We have come a long way from the garden, she thought to herself. This day would not be the turning of a chapter, but the closing of a book that would precede the opening of a new book, a book filled with endless pages and ink.

She suddenly felt a tug on her heart, a stirring of passion, the time had arrived. Behind her, the hill twisted and rose into a mountain. With one last gaze at the battle, she turned and went, mirroring the same strength and determination she saw in her husband. She, who had once worn fig leaves, was now adorned in¬†golden armor, her brown hair was loose and blowing as she climbed higher. She had piercing¬†green eyes and though now her face was flawless, she remembered long ago, her husband tracing the freckles on her nose and cheeks… how he had loved her imperfections.

With one last hoist, she pulled herself onto the peak of the mountain. A dark smoke hung in the air as she straightened and waited. A strong gust of wind blew the smoke apart and she could see the silhouette of an angel watching the war below. There was a moment of silence, like a calm before a storm. “How does it feel to sleep no more, Eve?” The angel asked, still not turning. His voice had a mesmerizing musical sound to it, but Eve could sense the barely concealed hatred beneath his tone. She drew the sword that was sheathed at her side, made of the same pure gold that adorned her. The¬†action was met with a chuckle that made her skin crawl. “…he will crush your head and you will strike his heel, is that what this is?” The angel turned toward her and she¬†almost gasped at the beauty she saw. In the garden, she remembered this beauty, how he had enticed her with it. His words had dripped with honey then, as she had no idea what he was. But now she held herself straight, and didn’t waver her gaze, beneath that beauty was an ugliness so vile that if he were to appear as he truly was, he would be a dragon, a monster, a serpent to be crushed underfoot.

She took a few steps closer, “I am here to defeat you.” The angel laughed again, this time his voice filled the space around her, and she was tempted to cover her ears. “Your Messiah has already seen to that.” He took a few steps closer to her, his body, though human in appearance, seemed to slither. “You stand defeated satan, now it’s my turn…I will humiliate you, father of lies and son of pride.” As she spoke she felt herself fill with righteous anger, the grip on her sword tightened and she gave him her fiercest gaze.

Instead of attacking, satan started walking around her, taking slow calculated steps and keeping her gaze. Eve was reminded of a hungry lion, sizing up his prey. “You ate the forbidden fruit woman, why would God trust you with this task?” Eve stood her ground. satan continued,”What if he sent you here to be humiliated?” his footfalls stopped in front of her, inches from her face he then whispered, “…are you really forgiven, Eve?” There was a pause that seemed to stretch for years, Eve remembered grabbing the fruit, how it looked so pleasing to the eye. Its flavor was still on her tongue to this day, as well as the taste of tears when she saw her son Abel killed by his brother Cain. She watched and felt the sting of her sin till the day she died, and even while she slept she knew in her soul that the world above was continuing to water the ground in blood and suffering and sin.¬†It’s all my fault!¬†She thought in despair, desperately fighting the weight of shame so great that she feared it would crush her.

But then she remembered, the Lord walking in the garden with her. “You are my beloved Eve,” He had told her, His footfalls matching her own as they enjoyed each others company and the beauty around them. “Someday you will know how much I love you.” She smiled, “…more than Adam does?” The Lord stopped and turned her toward Him, His eyes full of wonder and tenderness. “Eve, I love you more than you can ever imagine. I love you and Adam both uniquely and completely.” He turned His gaze to the garden around them, “This paradise is just the beginning of all I have for you.”

As fast as the shame had come, the light of God’s love for her cast it out. She felt satan recoil from her as though stung. Her eyes came back into focus as well as her strength. “You can’t sway me with lies! I will not be tricked again!” She raised her sword in fury and felt the wind blow around her. The clouds parted above and light shone on the mountaintop, causing every shadow to flee. Real fear flashed through satan’s dark eyes, he turned his gaze to the heavens and screamed, Eve took her chance. She raised her sword high and with all the strength she could muster she brought it down on him. In rage, satan screamed again, covering his face with his hands. When they parted, Eve could make out a grisly wound that she knew would be forever etched into his “perfection.” No more would he be able to see himself pridefully. No longer would he be able to boast, now he was truly nothing.

The heavens continued to open filling the mountaintop with the sound of rushing water and worship. satan seemed to shrink in fear, the mountain began to crack straight down the middle, Eve was lifted just as it crumbled beneath her by Michael, the Archangel. Satan, barely gripping onto the last stone began to beg and plea, but arms of fire shot out of the crack, wrapping themselves around him like burning chains until he was ripped from the ledge and drug deep into the ground. The gap suddenly closed, resealing itself as if nothing had ever happened. Eve watched as on the battlefield below, the same thing repeated, wisps of flame shot out of every crack and crevice, wrapping and dragging each demon down into the earth until all that remained was God’s army. Michael landed atop the restored mountain and smiled at Eve. “This is victory.” He said and all the angels from the heavens to the battlefield suddenly gave a loud shout, the ground shook and the clouds of dust and smoke departed leaving a brilliantly blue sky.

And so this is how the story ends, or more appropriately, how one book closes and another opens. What will this new story contain? Not even Eve knows, as there has never been a story that began with victory, until now.

woman warrior 3


When It Rains…


“The natives showed us extraordinary kindness; for because of the rain that had set in and because of the cold, they kindled a fire and received us all.”

-Acts 28:2

I took this picture while I was sick at a retreat. The sound of worship could be heard in the building a few yards away but I was separated¬†from it all, in misery. To add to this moment of pain I heard the water droplets start falling on the car I was in. They clung to it, only¬†sliding down the glass once they had combined with other droplets. I watched this for a while and thought the phrase, “when it rains it pours…”¬†My plans to enjoy the retreat fueled by the rain made me feel dispirited. The cloudy sky and constant rain can tend to make things seem worse. I’ve experienced “bad” sunny days and it never seems as fitting as when the sun is shrouded and the thunder moves the earth under your feet. It’s like the world is crying with you on days like that. Not that I was that upset at the retreat, but when moments like this happen and prayer seems to go unheard, it can make me wonder what is wrong with me that I would let satan¬†win so easily.

Who is he to tell me what day I will have, or how I will feel? I know, sometimes we get sick, but I tend to believe that some illnesses are not by coincidence. I believe he wanted to keep me from receiving something inside the church walls only yards away and I let him keep me from it!

And then there is the rain, why is it symbolic of depression? In biblical times, rain meant life. Without it, crops wouldn’t grow and people wouldn’t have water to drink. Often, punishment for a land in rebellion against God was for the life-giving¬†rain to stop. This reminded the people that it was God who gave life and could easily take it. It may seem harsh, but imagine it, people cursing God with the same mouth they ate and drank His sustenance¬†from. Rain stood for life, renewal, and God’s care. Today, in the western world, away from the deserts of our ancestors, we can forget the importance of rain. Farmers remember it well, but the common man or woman in their daily rush see rain as an inconvenience and a sign that their day might be cloudy in more ways than one.

I should’ve seen the rain droplets on the window in a different way…I should’ve realized that God was just as present in that car than in that church building. What an opportunity I missed! …I must say, this post is just as much for me as it is for you. I’ve learned that God can make a lesson out of anything, and the more lessons we take notice of and remember, the less we have to repeat in the future. He showed me that every day spent with Him can be a day of learning and growing. I used to believe that I could only learn and grow at some seminar or bible study, this isn’t true! Though much can be learned through fellowship with other Christians, God never intended for that to be the only way to growth and learning.

There comes a time we must do what we have learned. And often that involves us stepping out and making decisions on our own, physically. However, the Holy Spirit is our constant companion spiritually, He helps us and guides us even while we are facing giants alone. That same mighty Holy Spirit is in you, and He was in me, even while I was curled up in misery. Our problem is we put to much stock in the world we see when we need to focus more on the one we don’t see. Maybe then we will realize what’s truly going on when we see someone who is broken. Drugs aren’t the problem, guns aren’t the problem, money isn’t the problem…the list goes on. If we truly looked at the world’s problems through the eyes of the Holy Spirit we would see demons and angels battling over souls. Whispers of lies and hatred trying to override the voices of truth and love.

The rain is just rain. I remember the first time I jumped in a puddle after a rainstorm, I was only a kid and yet, like all children, I had seen the rainstorm as only another opportunity to play. I could’ve stayed in and chose to be sad and bored, but that’s just it. We choose what we will do with each new day and its unpredictable circumstances. Being happy is a choice, not an outcome of everything going right all the time. We decide what we will think and do, and that is what makes our day either good or bad.

Next time it rains in your life, try and see it as an opportunity. A challenge even, to be twice as happy. Become the sunshine to your co-workers and friends. Choose to see things in a new way, and you will find joy. Ask God for help, from where He sits, there is no rain or sunshine, only His magnificent glory. And Jesus, who has been a man and has suffered the worst of days, He understands you but He also sees what is possible for you. We simply weren’t made to shrink in the shadows of our enemies, we were made to rise up and crush them. Take authority over your day, and thank God…whether it rains or shines because each day is a gift…and a lesson to remember.

Thank you, God, for rain.





In life there are seasons

Moments that change

Clouds that uncover

The suns shining gaze

Flowers that bloom

After days of rain

Life after death

A lesson to save

Though trials may come

The Lord made a way

Just like the spring

He restores everything

There’s nothing to fear

And much to hold dear

As the winter departs

We make a new start

Cultivating this beauty

co-laboring in love

Listening to God

Through the call of a dove

Spring is His promise

That whatever may come


And I am Loved



The Good Father

prodigal song

“And I will be a father to you, And you shall be sons and daughters to Me,” Says the Lord Almighty.”

-2 Corinthians 6:19

There are those of us who have been raised by both a mother and a father, and there are many who have grown up lacking a parental figure. Yet the void is there, and each of us has sought to fill the gap, whether that gap is the tender love of a mother or the guidance and discipline of a father. Among those, are people who have had inadequate parents, maybe abusive parents. They too have a gap, an inner longing that can’t be ignored, not even in the passage of time.

No parent is perfect, but what makes a good earthly parent is love. A love that drives both parent and child to learn and grow together. It is a journey we are all on, regardless of age, a journey towards the Heart of God. Failure is inevitable, we will make mistakes, but what defines us is how we treat our failures. Do we give up? Or do we learn, dust ourselves off and try again? Luckily, we have the life of Jesus to look upon to guide us, and the Bible equips us in all matters, including parenting. We can even read all the stories of mothers and fathers who weren’t perfect by any means but learned great lessons through their short-comings, like Sarah and Abraham who had to learn to trust God. There are also stories of great parental love, like Jochebed who saved her son Moses life by sending him down the river in a basket, away from the slaughter of his fellow Hebrews.

It is no wonder, despite our shortcomings, that God still intends for us to continue parenting. He created the family dynamic as the best possible means of upbringing His children. We see the impact it has on kids when they are raised in a loving home, with parental love and guidance. Children grow secure in the knowledge they are loved and able to succeed. For those who are lacking parents, there are parental figures that are just as important. Whether related or not, God equips them to fill in the space of parent, offering advice, comfort, or simply being someone that is an ever-present figure to look up to. Whatever the circumstance, our need goes even deeper, so much so that our own creator has taken the role of Father, and us His adopted children.

Why a father? From God, both mother and father qualities reside as He is neither male nor female, nor Human for that matter. He is simply God and all things that we know to be both male and female characteristics came from His innermost being. We do not see this split until Adam finds himself at a loss while looking for a suitable companion. God then takes Eve from Adam’s being and sets her apart. And that is when the family as we know it began. Marriage binds both male and female together again, as one flesh, and it is both those qualities that help mold and shape children.

As to why we call God Father and not Mother can be explained by our deep need as I mentioned before, it is a need that affects the world at large. To further explain, here is a quote from William P. Young’s novel,¬†The Shack:

‚ÄúLet me say for now that we knew once the Creation was broken, true fathering would be much more lacking than mothering. Don’t misunderstand me, both are needed- but an emphasis on fathering is necessary because of the enormity of its absence‚Ä̬†

Universally we are lacking true fathering. Nothing against the fathers out there, as I said this is a worldwide problem that has led to many others. Satan has attacked fathers greatly because of their potential impact. Imagine a world where every father followed God, and took charge of their families, what would this world look like? A mothers role is important, but the father is the head of every family by design. Removing this makes parenting substantially harder. A mother can manage it, but that child still needs a fatherly role model. Scientifically it is proven that young boys need a male father figure more than young girls do, as an abstract from National Bureau of Economic Research states:

“‚Ķwe find that adolescent boys engage in more delinquent behavior if there is no father figure in their lives. However, adolescent girls‚Äô behavior is largely independent of the presence (or absence) of their fathers.”

God has understood this great need, and though He has been called many names, “Father” or “Abba” is His most personal title. You can see what kind of relationship someone has with God by what they call Him both in the open and in secret. To some, God is not a father figure. Maybe they grew up abused by their own father, much like Mack in¬†The Shack¬†was. This can make it hard to imagine God as a “good” father. In order to shield their hurt, they avoid the term, until it becomes true for them. We call God what we know to be true, what we believe most about Him. It is time that He was seen as a Father again. In fact, it is necessary.

Satan has an agenda to destroy us. He does this through destroying our identity and our foundations. He fills the void with lies that lead to rebellion against God. But this world is full of orphans who need to see that a loving Father wants them in the family. That is the heart of God. All of us have seen good fathers, even if we didn’t have them ourselves, we know what a good father is, how much more is the Father who created them good? The fact is, if God was a bad Father, He couldn’t create a good one. Evil only creates evil, and true goodness only creates goodness. Our God is a good Father, just as Jesus is the good shepherd towards His flock.

I can say this with certainty because God has proven His character in my life. He has been a good Father to me. I’ve seen Him protect and shield me, guide me, and correct me even when I didn’t want to hear it. I respect His authority and yet I also get to laugh and dance with Him. He is everything a Father should be and more. Like the story of the Prodigal Son, He is good to me even when it doesn’t make sense. I don’t deserve such a love, but He calls me worthy.

What is your story? How has God displayed Himself as Father in your life?

More Verses:

“Surely you are still our Father! Even if Abraham and Jacob would disown us, LORD, you would still be our Father. You are our Redeemer from ages past.” – Isaiah 63:16

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.”¬†-Luke 12:32

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” –
Matthew 7:11


Star Trek: Quotes


The Enemy Within

Spock: We have here an unusual opportunity to appraise the human mind, or to examine, in Earth terms, the roles of good and evil in a man– his negative side, which you call hostility, lust, violence, and his positive side, which Earth people express as compassion, love, tenderness.
McCoy: Are you aware it’s the captain’s guts you’re analyzing?
Spock: Yes, and what makes one man an exceptional leader? We see indications that it’s his negative side which makes him strong, that his evil side, controlled and disciplined, is vital to his strength. Your negative side removed from you, the power of command begins to elude you.


In this episode, we see Captian Kirk split into two beings. One containing the more gentle and good characteristics of humanity, the other containing as Spock mentioned, the more hostile savage-like qualities of humanity. As Christians, that side is the flesh and sinful qualities that we long to be severed from, much like Kirk was. In a way, this episode is romanticising the fallen man. The animal man, apart from God and yet still somehow driven by God’s morality as a means to control savage urges. Symbolically keeping the beast locked in a cage. But is it truly these hostile qualities that make us strong?

I don’t believe this is so. The bravest acts of mankind I have ever seen were driven by love. Granted, hate is a powerful motivator, but love has proven more lasting and powerful. More men and women are willing to be martyred for the sake of love and faith than for selfish hatred or retribution. I would say that it is our love that gives us courage, as well as possibly our passion for justice, or our compassion for others. When we accept Jesus into our soul we cut away the old self, the fallen man. Becoming new creations, no longer enslaved to sin. Can we choose to sin and fall away? Absolutely, but to do so without repentance would be to openly declare allegiance¬†to the evil forces of this world. As new creations, we have the Holy Spirit who convicts us, guides us, and comforts us in the ways of righteousness. To choose the old self, would be to ignore His leanings and to put aside His convictions willingly. It is much like being given a great inheritance and then throwing it in the fire.

Therefore, we are all better off without our savage fleshly urges, they weren’t originally a part of us. We took that identity when we turned our faces from God and His design. We still may be tempted, and at times we may fail,¬†but when our heart remains for the Lord and His righteousness, we will continue to rise from the ashes and take up our new identity as sons and daughters of God.

What do you believe?