20 weeks!

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As of yesterday, I am now 20 weeks into my pregnancy (this picture is not exactly recent). I took this right before I even knew I was pregnant, a strange thing to look back on now, since it really wasn’t that long ago that my body was slim and entirely “my own.”

Another interesting thing to note was that I decided I wanted a shorter haircut around the time I became pregnant and I remember clearly that I wanted a more “motherly,” and older look. Why? People never believe that I’m 25 or that I’ve been married for over 5 years now, and in my heart, I knew that motherhood was the next big adventure awaiting me.

So at 20 weeks, I must say that I have changed as much as my body has. Perhaps it’s because, with each passing day, it all becomes more “real.” Only 20 weeks left and I will officially be holding a child in my arms, and not just in my heart.

Pregnancy so far has been interesting, and not overly challenging. I’ve had morning sickness pretty frequently during the first trimester, but only vomited a few times in all. My symptoms and doctor visits have all gone according to the book. No problems, healthy baby, normal bodily changes, and nothing to hint at an abnormal delivery.

I am thankful to God for this. And amazed at my own body’s abilities to cope with such changes, child-bearing is a natural bodily process after all. I find comfort in this when I encounter new symptoms or when my body continues to stretch and morph into someone I don’t quite recognize. It’s all worth it. And I knew what I signed up for when I wanted to be a mother even though personally I never experienced this. That is the joy of being surrounded by mothers is that they will gladly tell you all the things that pregnancy and labor entails…though I’ve discovered that those who had hard pregnancies and labors are the most vocal of the bunch.

The way I see it…God is with me and has the baby and my best interests at heart. All sin, including the fall of man, is covered in Christ’s sacrifice. To me that means the curse of painful child-bearing doesn’t have to be accepted today, it was a punishment for a sin that Christ died for.

I know, it may sound like a laughable dream of mine, but don’t all miracles sound laughable at first? I just see no reason in not trying to walk in the gifts Christ paid for today, we’ve got nothing to lose in trying and believing. It may, in fact, be necessary if we are to eventually activate these gifts…might as well test our faith now right?

Whether God gives me painless quick labor or not, I am still thankful to Him for this new life within me and I still choose to view that day as a celebration and a gift from a Good Father. Children are blessings. Amen?

Next Thursday is the big day that I find out the gender. I can’t wait to finally know! Perhaps once I know, a name will also present itself…hopefully I can discover the name that best fits our child and their amazing destiny in Christ.

Thank you all who have prayed and followed my pregnancy so far! And may God bless all you parents out there who have labored in love, I look up to you and honor you.

 

 

Questions

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“If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don’t have to worry about answers.”

-Thomas Pynchon

Professors hardly like being asked that which does not pertain to the subject matter. Never had I the opportunity to ask questions of deep meaning, something to stir the heart and not only the mind.

In Greek Mythology, thankfully, no one questioned whether any of the phantasmal stories were true, and equally unbelieving was the professor who taught it. And so our questions where aimed at merely getting the fantasy details straight, not intending to really understand them or to discuss their believability.

Unfortunately, not every class or professor is so relaxed about their subject matter. In geography, my professor, a scientist who actively studied glaciers and their movements, was unquestionably biased in his views of global warming. His world revolved around the large bodies of ice which melted at alarming rates in some areas and grew in others. To him, this was where the discussion both began and ended. Global warming was real and there was nothing else to it.

He was equally immovable in his stance on evolution, a field he had no authority to teach, it wasn’t his area of study. Presented first as a theory I wrote down the details as such, but once the test came around, the word “theory” had been removed. And the question before read clearly, “how was the world created?”

I don’t believe I received full marks on that particular test.

The point I’m making here is that the pupil was always either constrained or released to ask questions based on the open-mindedness of the teacher. And those questions reflected their level of freedom. In a class like the one above, one could hardly discuss the scientific proof against global warming, and so no such questions were raised. The teacher had the upper hand, and he decided what questions would be asked and answered.

Hence the quote above by American Novelist, Thomas Pynchon, ” if they (professors, teachers, politicians, scientists, and religious hierarchs) can get you asking the wrong questions, they don’t have to worry about answers.”  

Are we asking the wrong questions? Are we looking deep enough for the truth? When our hand shoots up in the air, does our heart go with it?

God pointed something out to me Sunday during the sermon. The word “question” was blown up big on the screen and I suddenly realized that the word “quest” is inside it. Ridiculous I know, that I should see such an obvious thing now of all times and yet it spoke to me. When we ask a question we are on a quest for truth.

A quest is defined as a “long or arduous search for something.” Or to put it more simply, “to seek out.” 

I fear that many of us are hardly willing to embark on a journey and would rather settle for some nice sounding answer. Whether it be a half-truth or a downright lie. Still others, I fear, ask questions only to promote their own conclusions. Instead of merely seeking, they seek validation for their own supposed “truth.”

And still, there are others who refuse to ask or be asked. They are the ones who long to zip up the truth, to hide it away and lead those who come asking on a wild goose chase. Why? If the real questions were ever asked, they wouldn’t have the answer to refute them. And so, in order to have control over the situation, they constrain you until only the wrong questions can be asked and answered without causing damage to their own agenda or egos.

What a malicious thought, but oh so common in our American society. We have simply removed the “quest” from question.  And soon, the entire word may just up and leave our dictionaries along with “freedom”,…unless we do something about it.

Christians seem to be given the label of “close-mindedness” by men of thought. But from one Christian to another we know the truth. We always ask questions! Only a fool would settle and (something the world fails to understand), only a greater fool would keep asking once the truth was found.

I’ve explained it before as a person digging a hole. They are on a “quest” to find the treasure (truth). After a time, their shovel finally hits something solid and they pull out the treasure box. The digger opens it to find that the treasure (truth) was not what he envisioned it would be. And so he tosses it aside and resumes digging, hoping that his ideal treasure is just underneath it…..he digs and he digs….forever.

Meanwhile, his friend who also found treasure has accepted it and has moved on to another hole to search for another treasure. This is a man who has found the answer to one question and is on a quest to answer the next.

We weren’t born Christians, merely, Christianity was the answer to one question, in this case, the greatest question of existence. It didn’t happen overnight, no we dug for years and we dirtied ourselves in this great quest. And we are quite certain of the treasure we have found, which actually far exceeds what we imagined!

Now with one question answered we go onward toward the lesser questions, but praise be to God that the lesser questions are that much easier to dig up now because we have Him as our guide and strength. Perhaps, the first quest built up our endurance as well.

I hope this example paints clearly the concept of both searching and finding. And I hope above all else that if you are reading this and aren’t a Christain, you will climb back into that hole you started digging, or perhaps pick up the treasure you found but discarded and give it a second look. You deserve to know the truth and to seek it for yourself, not to have others chain you down, removing your freedom to ask. Never take another man’s word, another man’s answer (which as you’ve read may or may not be honest), to such a question as this, your purpose for living.

Even as a Christian, I do not know the destiny God has for you, and no one can tell me my own destiny but God, and I must begin that quest alone. Another can’t do it for me, and nor would I want them to.

Put the “quest”, back in your questions and always have the courage to ask the right ones. Perhaps your venture into these new territories will lead others to such freedom in a society where the “Freedom of speech” is under great attack and scrutiny.

Ask. Seek. Find. and Repeat!

 

Pregnancy: 2nd Trimester

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Planet Fitness

Forgive the bathroom picture, It’s quite difficult finding a large mirror with good lighting anywhere for pregnancy photos. I am officially 18 weeks which translates to the beginning of month 5.

If there are any expectant mothers reading, I highly recommend the website, What to Expectwhich is great for tracking baby growth and developmental milestones as well as giving mothers helpful information regarding weekly symptoms and open forums to calm any anxiety you may face. I’ve found the site strangely accurate, as each new week warrants new symptoms that line up with my own bodily changes.

The first trimester was difficult. Nausea was a daily and “nightly” occurrence as well as random cramping, back pain, and fatigue. Now I am happy to say that the nausea has subsided, only rearing it’s ugly head once in a blue moon. Like when I accidentally took my prenatal vitamins on an empty stomach, yuck!

My weight has been increasing steadily as well as my appetite at times. My doctor told me that I should gain half a pound a week now roughly, based on my starting weight of 127-130. In the last few weeks, I’ve jumped between 138-141. This is just my body, everyone else is sure to gain and carry their baby differently. As this is my first child, I’m sure my second will be different and so on…let your doctor tell you what is healthy and right for you, not others!

He did say that it is important to start cutting back on carbs. The baby and I are storing fat, in fact, we are storing everything we eat (it’s a survival instinct). I find it difficult to curb my desire to munch by eating carrots and bland foods over the more satisfyingly filling potatoes, fried foods, and pasta! Nevertheless, I also don’t want stretch marks or an 11-pound baby, so It is probably best to cut back on carbs/sugars whenever possible. A healthy grazing diet of veggies, proteins(meats), and some fruits will be just dandy. Try not to eat big meals (like I have lately with the holidays), it gives your body sugar spikes and it overall is very uncomfortable. Just eat 5 or more small meals or snacks a day, try protein-heavy meals in the evening so that you can sleep a full night before having to eat again.

So far, I haven’t felt the baby move, and my home stethoscope has yet to pick up a heartbeat amidst the other gurgling belly sounds. But those days are coming soon! And not only that, but the gender-revealing ultrasound which I’ve got scheduled for the 23rd this month. (Gender reveal pictures/blog will follow 😊).

Names have been tossed around and so far we like the name Evelyn for a girl and James for a boy, what do you think?

I could go into further details regarding symptoms but that would take some time, so I will just leave this post open to any questions you may have. I’m no expert but I’m happy to help in any way I can. Motherhood is rough, our bodies are no longer “ours”, and these rapid changes can be a bit unsettling at times (I find myself doing double-takes every time I pass a mirror). If my experience can help other expectant mothers out there than great! I admit that I could use the assurance and support as well, this is all new territory for me, I’ve charted the first few months, but there are more to come.

Thank you for reading! Until next time, my last advice is to do some light exercise (walking on a treadmill), and pregnancy stretches that will ultimately prepare you for childbirth. You will be grateful you took the time now to prepare for that day, I honestly believe that it doesn’t have to be a “horrible” experience. In fact, it may well just be the greatest day of your life, the day you meet your baby!

God bless you all!

Defenseless

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The dreams would turn to nightmares and I’d carry that feeling of powerlessness into reality. I believed in my fear more than I believed in my God and the demons were well aware of this. My prayers were pleas to a distant savior, one whom I feared would come too late.

This was part of my childhood, but thankfully, it’s not my future. I am NOT defenseless! And neither are you.

I’ve come full circle, I’ve discovered that the great enemy really has a greater enemy in us. Their only power is in what they can get you to believe, and generally, they want you to feel powerless because if you truly discovered your power, they would stand defeated in your life and quite possibly in the lives of those around you.

Knowing God is important, knowing yourself is equally so. You may disagree but I feel they both go hand-in-hand. Our identity is rooted in Christ, and Christ is rooted in God. Do we really believe we are heirs to the Kingdom? Sons and Daughters of the Most High? The demons know this, and they thrive in our “not” knowing.

Anything left in shadow is open to deception. That is why it is vital we discuss our doubts, fears, and sins with others. If satan can keep you silent he can keep you bound.

I see many people with their hands tied behind them, with veils over their eyes and mud in their ears. They believe in God, but don’t really know Him, and in not knowing Him they cannot know themselves. They make pleas just as I did when I was young, and they look up to the sky as if God were there and not in their very hearts.

In my early posts, I’ve talked about the authority given to us, the same that raised the dead, healed the sick, and cast out demons is very much in us today. Cessationism is unfounded biblically and if one would truly search for miracles he/she would find them. I know this because I’ve lived it. I went years without searching and never saw miracles, and then I went years searching and found many miracles that proved God’s power remains in us today.

Jesus told us we would do greater things (John 14:12). What could be greater than the miracles of Christ??? He emphasized that these “greater things” would occur because he is going to the father. We live in these greater times!! Jesus has already died, been raised, and returned to the Father, and He then sent us the Holy Spirit, the one who gives us the power and authority to do what Christ did and more.

This world does have it’s “defenseless ones,” but they should not consist of those who are born again Christians, at least not in the spiritual sense. How else can we fulfill Psalm 82:3-4 which says; “defend the weak and fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” 

We stand for righteousness amidst the darkness, we must be the light. The hope of Christ must shine through us and pour out upon others in not just good deeds. Humanitarianism is only one part, it recognizes and seeks to meet the physical needs of a person but not the spiritual ones. No, we must do more than that, we must demonstrate God’s Heart through the miraculous, make the Word of God come alive in their hearts till it transforms them!

The darkness will remain in a region so long as the people are kept chained in spiritual darkness. Christ is the only way to freedom and prosperity, redemption and peace. You want to make a difference in the world? First, make a difference in a person…one at a time…and watch the world transform.

Christians fall on hard times, I don’t deny it. We often need a helping hand from our brothers and sisters, but we always stand back up again and we must never forget who we are when we fall. A soldier on his knees is still a soldier nonetheless.

It’s time for every Christian to stop wallowing in self-pity. To stop speaking lies over themselves and declaring their fears and worries. Brothers and sisters, it’s time to wake up and remember who you are and pick up your sword!!

What does that look like?

If demons are invading your home, your family, and your very dreams…take action!! exercise your authority paid for in full by Christ. You don’t need a priest to cleanse your house, you just need to believe in who you are and whose you are. Send those pesky bugs fleeing in terror, laugh at them as they depart, worship God and fill your home with His light so that they can’t return.

If you are being buried with debt and believe that things will only get worse it’s time to make a stand! Declare it, worship it, pray out loud that you are victorious and that you are healed! God is provider and you place your faith and trust in Him when you tithe! Read His Word, seek spiritual financial counseling, there are many tools at your disposal but you must be willing to make sacrifices and often changes in your spending/budgeting habits.

Is your marriage struggling? Intimacy? make declarations over your marriage, pray for it and if your spouse isn’t on board, don’t try and “change” them, transform yourself—do the Love Dare seek ways to serve and honor your spouse amidst this time, and watch them transform. Never place divorce on the table, and it will never become an option, an out. Fight for your marriage and remember who the real enemy is, who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy not just you personally but your God sealed union. Take Christain marital counseling, learn to communicate properly which basically involves learning to listen, truly.

The list goes on and guess what, YOU have the authority to overcome any obstacle, giant, or impossibility in your path, because of Christ and the Holy Spirit within you.

YOU ARE NOT DEFENSELESS

Declare that, believe that, and you will begin to sharpen your sword. Fail to do so, and that sword will remain sheathed. The choice really is yours, and I pray you chose to fight dear brother/sister. God has much in store for you, and His Will was never that you would be left defenseless.

 

 

Love Came Down

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“Jesus was God and man in one person, that God and man might be happy together again.”

-George Whitefield

Did everyone have a great Christmas this year? For me, it went very quickly and I found myself, for the first time, with very little to give in return for everyone else’s kindness. It’s a strange feeling, one of undeservedness as well as gratitude. Perhaps I’m still learning how to receive, and I honestly believe that as Christians we must learn this!

When you first bowed your head and surrendered your life to Christ, you received a gift you could never be worthy of, and yet, Christ made you worthy. We cannot give until we have first received. And what have we received? Why did Christ come and why did he have to die?

In my last post, we established God’s agape (unearned) love for us. Now, we take a step further into that great abyss of love, and hopefully, find ourselves falling even more madly in love with the one who brought us into being.

Many will try and sway you to believe in a God who would never bend, would never turn His eyes to man and sacrifice for him. They will say that God orchestrated this whole reality, and free-will is but an illusion. And to those arguments, I charge this question, “why Jesus?” Surely, something needed fixing, surely God could’ve started over instead of sacrificing His Son, or in essence “Himself.” That doesn’t sound like a distant uncaring God, but one who cares greatly about what occurs on this tiny spec of a world–the only one with life as we know it in an ever greater universe. The more I study it the more I realize we are the jewel, the very heart of God in all creation.

So, back to my question, why Jesus? I have recently had the privilege to read C. S. Lewis’s novel, Mere Christianity, which I highly suggest to anyone struggling with doubts of any kind regarding God’s existence, goodness, and ultimately His purpose. What I tell you today I repeat from this great book, and most likely inadequately so. C. S. Lewis is a great writer and Christian, but at one point in time, he too was lost and struggling with the meaning of life. He offers an insight that I am unable to offer myself since I grew up in church and in a believing home, a riper soil for spiritual growth.

However, despite this, I still found this book to be enlightening and faith-building. And so, I will share with you his take on why Jesus came, or more specifically, why God came down in the form of a man.

Upon wrapping up his discussion about God being good and completely righteous (He cannot deny Himself), and us falling away from unity with Him. We see that, even in the Bible, the rest of our story is built upon restoring what has been lost. The Old Testament demonstrates our great need for Christ in that we cannot wash ourselves clean and restore our relationship with God regardless of our striving attempts at righteousness. The law can’t be followed perfectly because we are imperfect.

In the coming of Christ, we see that God has a plan, an answer to our weakness. C. S. Lewis said that the only way we are cleansed is through repentance, and yet, he goes further:

“Repentance is much harder than merely eating humble pie. It means unlearning all the self-conceit and self-will that we have been training ourselves into for thousands of years. It means killing a part of yourself, undergoing a kind of death. In fact, it needs a good man to repent. And here comes the catch. Only a bad person needs to repent: only a good person can repent perfectly. The worse you are the more you need it and the less you can do it. The only person who could do it perfectly would be a perfect person—and he would not need it.”   (pg. 57)

We were incapable of true and complete repentance. No amount of blood shed by animals was enough to cover our great transgression, that we sought to become like God. Pride entered our hearts the day Eve listened to the serpent and Adam stood watching. That day, satan pulled man into the very same transgression he was guilty of. Pride was his downfall, and will always be. He chose willingly what we chose naively.

The most interesting thing we are overlooking here is that God in His nature has never needed to repent. So how could He teach us, help us, to do that which He has never done?

God can’t surrender, suffer, submit, or die….man, however, can.

“But supposing God became a man—suppose our human nature which can suffer and die was amalgamated with God’s nature in one person—then that person could help us. He could surrender His will, and suffer and die, because He was man; and He could do it perfectly because He was God. ” (pg. 58)

We can repent today because God is in us. He does it through us and that would not be possible if it wasn’t for Jesus. Lewis continues:

“Our attempts at this dying (repentance) will succeed only if we men share in God’s dying, just as our thinking can succeed only because it is a drop out of the ocean of His intelligence: but we cannot share God’s dying unless God dies; and He cannot die except by being a man. That is the sense in which He pays our debt, and suffers for us what He Himself need not suffer at all.”

Jesus was the only way.

The trinity still holds great mystery to us, and yet like God we are 3 parts as well. Body, Soul, and Spirit. The body is alive, the soul is alive, and the Spirit (Holy Spirit) is very much alive. We do not understand it, nor are we really aware of it all the time, and yet it gives us a slight insight into God’s makeup of Father, Son, and Spirit. The greatest difference is that He is well aware of the connection and this awareness makes Him complete. Also, I’m inclined to believe that each aspect or being of God is infinite and unique in that they can be identified by their own characteristics, but let us not confuse the fact that they are still very much “one.”

Love is a consuming fire. Agape love, to me, is the most furious and all-consuming fire of  God. It is that love that brought Him to such great lengths to save us. It is that love that endured more pain and suffering than we could ever imagine on the cross. That believed our free-will to be worthy of such pain and sacrifice….why?

Could you really love a robot, programmed to love you, more than a child who loves you by his/her own choice? God isn’t about slaves or servants…He is all about family and friendship…the very same He shares within the trinity is what he longs to pour out upon us. He is a Father longing to grow His family. Remember…love is a consuming fire. When you love, you share that love, and can’t help but do so.

Aaron and I are getting a new look at this kind of love as we await the arrival of our baby. I can only imagine how great our love will be when the product of that love is in our midst. Not only will our love for each other grow, but also will it stretch and pour out into our child. And In my heart, I feel that is what love is made to do.

May God bless you all, regardless of doubts and short-comings…you are all a reflection of God’s heart and I pray that your hearts will grow and be filled this new year with His great love and in the many years to come. Amen! ❤

 

Agape

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“But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

-Romans 5:8

Searching for a picture that sums up the word, “agape”, is difficult. When we think of love, our first images are rather joyful and beautiful. There are many pictures that demonstrate the love between man and God. But, what about the love God has for man?

It’s easy to love God…He created everything, He gave His only Son as a ransom for us, He blesses us daily, and at the very heart of it…He IS love (1 John 4:7).

Is it so easy to love us? What have we given? What could we ever do to earn the love of God?

Nothing.

That is the heart of agape love, it cannot be earned. It is freely given and always involves the sacrifice of the giver… and a painful sacrifice that is. It’s a love that thinks not of itself but only of others and their betterment.

Out of the “Four Loves”,  agape is the least emotional.

An example of this would be discipline. Remember the verse, “He who spares the rod hates their children?” (Proverbs 13:24). A selfish love would spare the rod in order to keep the peace. An agape love would risk their own peace for the sake of their children. That child may be angry with you for stopping them from “having fun”, but ultimately you are teaching them how to act so that someday they will be successful adults who know right from wrong and lead good Godly lives.

This love meets no personal desires like Eros (romance/sexual), Phileo (friendship/brotherly), and Storge (familial/motherly), it is merely sacrificial. And this love cannot be perverted as the other loves can because they involve desire and when desires are not controlled or are warped by satan, they become purely selfish.

God is Love, but all loves are not God.

What I mean is, when God isn’t in His proper place in our hearts, in other words, the “throne room”, then something else always takes His place. Satan can’t create anything new, he can only pervert what God has created, or in essence, was meant to be “good.” The Godly structure of marriage, family, sex, and “love,” can all be twisted when we replace God in the throne room.

People fall under the lie today that because God created it, it ALL must be good. God created us and yet are we ALL good? Today’s definition of love, therefore, isn’t quite what God’s definition is. God is Love, but He is also righteous and can’t deny Himself. His love is different than many of the warped loves we/satan have created.

That makes the argument, “if it’s love it must be from God!” invalid.

I say this only as an explanation or warning, that we should look to God and His Word to know what things are and what they are not, and not look to the world…which is ever-changing and very much self-driven since it’s king is the Devil.

Agape alone stands the test of time and the rise and fall of humanity. God is agape and that is the kind of love we should seek and value in our lives. In fact, that is the only kind of love we should die in the name of! Christ died not for himself but for all of humanity. It wasn’t glorious, it wasn’t honorable…he died a criminal’s death and suffered beyond fathom, enduring the ridicule, stripped bare and beaten beyond all recognition.

You see, God came down and become a man for us. Never believe that God the Father is apart from the Son! When Jesus came down, God came down. And in my next post, we will look at why this is so important, and why it was necessary.

Until then, God bless you and may He continue to lead you into a better understanding of His great Love. ❤

 

Looking Back

Looking back on the year, I can’t help but ask, “what year?” It blew by so fast. And just as the Lord said on New Year’s, as the ball dropped and I found myself laughing with Aaron..this would (and was) a year of laughter.

We began the year with our favorite and shortest anniversary vacation yet to Florida. It was the best three days in which we actually had the money to enjoy it. Though I left severely sunburnt, I couldnt stop smiling. Again, this was the Lord’s word manifested.

Our church remodeled the sanctuary (we had been having service in the fellowship hall) and by Easter we had our first service in the beautiful historic “church.” Strange as it was considering this is the first real church building we’ve had service in, it was truly a blessing and honor to worship in a place created for such. God’s blessings and joyful laughter again.

Our finances were the best they’ve ever been. With Aaron working as a manager on a farm/fertilizer business and me working at a window factory, we were not only blessed but able to bless others, which truly made us happy. The Lord was smiling down on us, and we were in awe.

Among the many more joyous moments and times of great laughter, I can’t help but think about the last few months…after all the blessings, and God’s favor on us….now…a baby. I honestly feel rather speechless, and satan has tried lately to squash our peace and joy.

Our finances have plummeted, our sump pump broke during a heavy flood, the heat went out in my car, our electricity burnt out, I’ve battled morning sickness for 3 full months, our pellot stove motor stopped working (we very much need this thing to work), our well is contaminated with iron (no clue how) which is turning things orange and makes the water taste like blood! Somehow there was a misshap with taxes so we owe an additional 200 on top of over 5,000 we’ve paid so far, And I’ve contracted a bad cold just as I was feeling a bit better with nausea, I’m on day 5 of it and still struggling.

Funnily enough, I just found my basment flooded again due to a pvc pipe that came lose and disconnected putting our new sump pump through a workout. It was then I realized now was the best time to write my next blog, having not had wifi for several days I’ve really missed typing and sharing my journey.

This is week 14 in my pregnancy, and the baby is healthy ❤ despite my cold and everything that’s happened, God has kept the most important thing safe. And of course, I know everything else is in His hands too…it just gets overwhelming in the moment.

God is still good, and see! I carry the truth, it’s growing within me as I speak. You know…times of trials are not from God but they do have a knack of building our resolve. Testing the very things we’ve always said we believed. Aaron for example, learned at the beginning of our marriage that God is provider. Now, though we struggle financially he doesn’t have this fear…why? Because God’s proven Himself faithful..now we don’t just know He’s provider because we read it in the Bible, we “know” because we have experienced it time and time again.

We will continue trusting and believing…and laughing at satan and his petty attempts to break our unshakable hope ❤ a hope that came down and walked among us…his name? Jesus.

Things will break, money will come and go, illnesses will try to trip us, the rain will fall, and some nights will be cold, but some of the greatest blessings the world has ever seen came out of such times.

On a cold rainy night…our savior was born.