When Fear Takes The Throne

Fear Kills

Fear. Doubt. Worry.

They fight to take hold of my mind daily. It’s nothing new, I’ve faced off against fear my entire life. Many times the feeling of fear was justified—my reaction too it, maybe not so much.

Fear can be harnessed and used properly. It can motivate us instead of cripple us in a crisis if we keep it in its proper place. Far, far away from the throne seat of our heart and actions.

However, the moment we partner with it and allow it a place of honor and power is the moment we begin to hand over our authority to the devil.

Fear, in truth, is misplaced worship. Is more faith in something that isn’t God. And the thing about God is He will allow you to choose who you will empower. Will you empower His Holy Spirit within you? Or will you empower the devil and his demons to move against you?

I’m constantly teetering on the edge of both. One moment I am won over by truth, the next I am swayed by what I’ve seen. Death to those close to me, loss, disaster…if it happened to them, what makes me any more immune?

But there is something I cannot see. So much more…maybe fear took the throne seat of their hearts? Maybe power was given over without realizing it and the devil made his move? Maybe, things just happen. And God isn’t any less good because of it.

I see their stories and forget my own in the mess. God has always protected me, healed me, watched over my family, saved my life from sheer disaster, I can name all the stories as if they happened yesterday…

God saved my life when I nearly fell out of an amusement park ride.

He saved my dad’s life when his heart stopped one evening as he was watching tv.

He turned the wheel just in time when my mom and I were in a car accident (avoiding a head on collision).

He protected my unborn child as I was struck in the passenger side by a speeding vehicle.

Notice that the catastrophes still happened, but the outcome was victory. All these moments can be viewed in two ways, depending on my mindset at any given time.

I can either look at all the mess and think, “man, I was in a lot of horrible situations that God could have kept from happening.” Or I can think, “man, God has been so good to me, that when then devil tried to take me out—he failed every time.”

What am I really afraid of? Death? Even that thought sounds ridiculous if I truly believe in the Word. “To live is Christ, to die is gain.”

Am I afraid of pain? Of loss? Unfortunately, being a Christian doesn’t mean a life free of pain or loss. We aren’t immune to this broken world and we essentially have targets painted on our backs for carrying Christ. We are enemy #1 to the devil and are far from safe. But we shouldn’t be the ones shaking…our enemy is already defeated and he is scared witless by us.

And to the Christians who truly come alive and utilize the Holy Spirit within them…there’s nothing the devil can do even onto death.

My fear is in my weakness apart from God. My fear is in my inability to not fear. To use the faith He paid for. It isn’t a fear that He won’t come through, but that I won’t.

God has limited Himself to working through us. But we have to allow Him to move in and through us or in our hesitancy, in our fear, we will lose.

How do I keep my fear under check?

1. Read the Word constantly. Remind yourself of truth, dwell on it and it will transform you and your mind. The voice of truth must be greater than the other voices you indulge in. TV news, Shows, your friends, your family, your own inner voice…

2. When you fear a swell of fear, breathe. Step back and ask the Holy Spirit to highlight what’s really going on in the Spirit realm. If you can recognize the devil’s schemes for what they are, it gives you an edge. You can then pray specifically against it and divert your actions into a more spiritual warfare stance instead of physical.

3. Laugh. They say that when you dog is scared, to laugh out loud. This reassures them that there is nothing to be afraid of. Likewise, when we laugh, we exhibit an outward action of faith (regardless of how we inwardly feel this is important).

4. Do the opposite of your fear. Like I said above. Do what you are afraid of doing, physically force yourself to move, to keep living like nothing is wrong. Make plans, laugh, go for a walk, smile, put fear in its proper place and don’t let it dictate your next move.

5. Speak against it. Say positive declarations or verses over yourself (words carry incredible power). Likewise, you must rebuke your negative words spoken in fear that they wouldn’t give the devil a foothold. And lastly, this includes sharing your fear. Speak about it to those you trust spiritually, and cling to their advice and encouragement. You’re never alone.

This pregnancy has me feeling more afraid. But I can see the devil’s schemes and know that they are powerless so long as I don’t pay them any heed. For my moments of weakness, I repent to God and move on.

God, forgive me, and help my unbelief! I’m still learning and willing to grow. Please, help me to trust and to keep fear in check. You are my God, my protector, and my reason for breathing. I know I didn’t choose the easy path, but I also know that you promised to be with us always and by your Son, we have authority (the very same He has!). Guide me, oh Lord, and help me in my moments of weakness. And may yours be the Glory in all circumstances, Amen.

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True Beauty

My toddler rolls over in bed and touches my face. “Eww,” he says, innocently observing the obvious outbreak of Rosacea (something I never had until this year).

He closes his eyes and nestles into my arm, sound asleep. Meanwhile I stare at the ceiling mourning the beauty I once had. It wasn’t so long ago I had a slim body, tan, and a flawless complexion. My stomach was free of stretch marks and hernias, my hair and clothes had more thought put into them.

I was radiant with beauty. Or was I?

My definition of outward beauty reflected the world’s. But how quickly we dismiss the fact that the world’s definition of beauty changes in time.

Pudgy used to be sought over slender so many years ago. It showed health and fertility. On the same hand, pale skin meant that you were wealthy enough to stay indoors and avoid the harsh sun that we now seek out all summer long.

No, I am convinced now that beauty isn’t a certain set of standards but an ever-changing thing. My husband taught me this early on…he liked my messy hair pulled back hastily over the meticulous styled look that was beaten into me during my teen years.

He didn’t mind me skinny, but preferred that I was healthy. (I was underweight for my size back then). The hernia’s never bothered him, even after they were surgically fixed only to return as I carried our unborn son in my stretching stomach.

He didn’t care that I had stretch marks, that my weight stayed, that I now have Rosacea marking my face in red.

He never cared because he loves me, the beauty within and surprisingly the changing beauty of my outer appearance.

Let’s face it women. You can only grasp on to this world’s idea for so long, eventually you will change and later you’ll find that the world is changing too. Just like fashion. Stopping chasing what you were never made to chase, because it’s mere vapor anyway, you’ll never catch it.

There are times like this, with my son poking at my face, that I feel a pang of sadness over the me I once was. But it quickly passes when I turn my gaze off of myself and onto the little being beside me. He will always be beautiful (handsome) and perfect to me.

Even when he hits those teen years and his flawless skin experiences the hormonal zits that come with it. I would still find him just as perfect.

If my husband finds me beautiful during my life seasons and I can likewise feel the same awe at God’s design when I look at my son. Why can’t I feel that same acceptance with myself?

God loves me as I am. And “as I am” will always change. Maybe true beauty isn’t what we think it is….maybe true beauty is change.

The scars, the rings under our eyes, the marks on our faces, the slight pudge around our waist…they tell a story of change. And as I hold my son I think…what a beautiful story that is.

It proves that I have lived. And that I have contributed to this world something more valuable than myself. And that work has left it’s marks on my temporary frame.

I’m pregnant again, and I wonder vaguely if my body will bear more stretch marks, more battle scars.

I smile at the mirror and shrug.

The “Do Over”

“Only” to “Oldest”

Hello everyone! It’s been awhile! Praying all of you are well. I told myself I wouldn’t stop posting this time and here we are….life is a roller coaster of changes and sometimes those changes pull me away from writing unfortunately.

What changes do I speak of? First, I have dived deep into the art of reselling and it’s honestly been well worth it! As a stay at home mom, side hustles have to fit neatly into certain boxes and be well worth the time put in to it. (Stay tuned for some reselling posts as I really want to share what I’ve learned these past few months).

Second, motherhood and church have taken a priority over my writing lately. And time just hasn’t been available. Even now, I’m writing in the small window before my son awakes and like any ticking bomb I’m not entirely sure when it will go off and my time will be up.

At church, I’ve been pouring into my duties and into others. I will later share more about what that has done for my life since the past two years I had pulled away from God and my spiritual family.

Third, my husband has been hard at work with college to become a web designer. I couldn’t be more proud of him, and he only has until the spring of next year before he graduates and we can begin this new chapter.

But that isn’t the only new chapter we will be starting…

I’m pregnant.

Baby #2 is officially in the making. And he/she wasn’t in our plans and quite an unexpected surprise. James, my first, is now 2 1/2 years old and will be 3 when our next one is born.

We had plans to wait another year, God had another plan…but I’ve always said “your will be done.” Who am I that I can stop/control the coming of a new soul into the world—for such a time as this??

I didn’t feel the same way at first when I saw that “+” appear. I was afraid, in shock, even sad for those few minutes when I was the first awake and the house was peaceful and still.

I’ve loved this chapter, or at least I have finally learned to love it. The chapter of James and Me. Now set to expire by June…as our next chapter involves all of us.

Aaron will have a new job that allows him to be home more. And I’ll have a talking 3 year old and a baby on my hip.

But I’m wiser this time.

I feel like I have graduated myself. That I’ve “leveled up” as a mother. I made so many mistakes with James that I know I won’t make this time around.

The sadness turned to joy and acceptance very quickly.

-I’m different, so this time will be different.

-I’m not alone this time, and I get to experience this with James, Aaron, and my church family!

-no covid pandemic! Yay! My family can actually celebrate with me at the hospital. No masks! No covid test! No penitentiary feeling of being trapped!

-And then there’s James, who gets to walk into our room and see his forever friend for the first time. I don’t expect him to understand or even accept it at first, but I know from my own life how I longed for a sibling and didn’t realize it until I needed one.

Please pray for us as we navigate this new normal. The devil has been very obvious in his attempts to destroy our joy and peace. I believe that his attacks aren’t just set on us—I know you too are facing the heat. But be reassured! The time of the Lord’s coming is at hand! Each day is one day closer, and we must keep doing what He called us to.

Let Him find you working, harvesting, marrying, loving, raising families, and living life unto Him. In this way the Bride of Christ remains ready for Him.

With love always,

Riley

Dispeller of Darkness

“Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lamp stand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others…”
—Matthew 5:15-16

I was given a convicting message Sunday about our (the church’s) duty as the light of the world. How we have no problem cursing darkness but take little responsibility for our own actions, or rather, inaction.

For example, when you walk into a basement and the light doesn’t work, do you get angry at the darkness? The darkness is merely the absence of light. It is doing what it always does, and the very term “darkness” is an artificial construct for sake of speech. No, you get angry at the light and try to fix the bulb.

The church and its light, therefore, hasn’t been shining brightly—that is why there is so much darkness in the world.

We must face it, our inaction led to this. We allowed our children to rebel, we spared the rod of discipline, and we failed to love them truly as we sought their friendship and acceptance instead.

Some churches did not spare the rod, but their correction was without the love of Christ. They chased their children away with whips and made them feel like they could never return or be forgiven, unlike the parable of the prodigal son.

We avoided truth. Watering it down with half truths. The world came asking for direction and answers and since we were silent they turned to the governing powers of this world for their “truth.”

Without the Bible (Spoken Word of God) as the lens in which we perceive truth—the world has twisted good and evil and has done so, not caring about those who come hungrily knocking. They care only about power and money, and in fact, make their living off of our lost children’s desperation.

The government is like an abusive foster parent. Manipulative and outwardly noble in that they praise and pour out gifts upon their children, spoiling them with things that bring temporary joy but ultimately rot the soul.

They let them loose to their own wants and desires. Ask any child who was allowed to roam free in a candy store and they will tell you that they love the one who opened that door and let them do it—even as they moan from the resulting stomach ache.

Under this foster system, you must reject everything that your birth parents taught you. Girls can’t be girls, boys can’t be boys, you can’t be wrong, though your parents must be. Your body is not sacred, your desires are. The feasts of your flesh should govern your life and you should find identity in those lusts. Anything that causes you discomfort or hurts your feelings (makes you face the fact that you have a stomach ache in your soul) is bad! And doesn’t deserve any rights.

Sex and love are interchangeable. The ensuing results—depression/mental issues which are then worn like a badge of honor that make you even more special. (As if you weren’t special at the moment of conception)

Seriously, these foster parents smile fondly upon those who have completely destroyed the image of God upon them. Why?

Because the true foster parent they all share is the devil. He doesn’t care if you’re momentarily happy, so long as your ignorant of the fact that you are destroying yourself fully, mutilating yourself both physically and spiritually, then he is quite pleased.

It is purely evil what is happening in the dark. And where is the light that dispels the darkness?? The light that puts the devil in his place because he is already defeated??

Our job is to constantly enforce Christ’s victory on the Earth. To remind our children that they too can reign and live empowered. That the devil only has power if we give it to him.

We must affirm their identities in Christ Jesus. That they are loved fully and known fully by their creator. They lack nothing and are beautifully made. They have so much value, too much to be left as they are, given over to their own wants and wills. They aren’t mindless cattle, emotion without thought—no, in God, they have a sound mind that is wise and sees through the devil’s futile schemes to destroy their self worth.

Wake up church! Stop seeking the world’s embrace when Christ set us apart. He said the world would hate us! As it should, since it is the kingdom of satan. We are ambassadors here—belonging to another place (the kingdom of God).

Uncover your light and let it shine. You are victors and all darkness must flee before your blinding light.

For the sake of our children. His children. Shine brightly.

The Moral Dilemma

We see it on the news, hear it on the radio, read it in the newspaper or on the web…

It’s in our schools, in our day-to-day discussions at work or at home…

And even in our churches…

“It” is, in essence, our moral compass. How we perceive the world, justice, good and evil. How we judge others and hate. How we love or what we deem worthy of our love.

As we talk or vent on social media we do so through a lens. We either filter all that we see through the Word of God and His Holy Spirit or we filter it through our own heart and emotions (self righteousness).

The fact is, that many believe that our world is gray when really it still remains black and white. Good is still Good, Evil is still Evil. And most importantly—God is STILL God.

When we sit on the throne seat, the image above ensues. Why? Because we can’t define Good or Evil apart from the Word of God or His discerning Spirit. This is why they have come up with the nonsensical term “relative truth.” As if truth only existed in our minds and not in reality.

Under a relativistic world, we can ‘rightly’ say:

“2+2=4…or 3, or 7, or 5….they’re all the right answer! So long as it’s true to you and what you feel in the moment or want, it doesn’t matter!”

To translate this simply, what they’re really saying is: “WE are all gods! WE define what is good and evil and you know what? That definition is liquid and changing and different for everyone—so coexist or suffer the wrath of us gods!”

That is why the world is in chaos and divided in nearly every way. And those who still have their wits about them are reaping the financial benefits of our collective insanity.

We can’t universally determine truth apart from God! We can’t handle a god-complex without becoming prideful and arrogant. And of course, completely deranged (self deceived). The devil is having a field day in the hearts and minds of such people. They really are his to manipulate and carry out his bidding.

They are wild, rebellious, wicked, and blindly foolish. They are deeply discontented and depressed, angry and broken, and they are by definition the very things they hatefully accuse us of being.

God’s Word must be the line in the sand. The undeniable truth we all stand on again!

Otherwise, we will never be united or truly free. The pursuit of happiness isn’t what we should be after! Happiness is a choice, not something you find or have to chase down. Women are aborting their babies in pursuit of happiness, married couples are divorcing because they no longer “feel” happy, and this creates a cycle of infatuation—marriage—loss of happiness—divorce.

People are hooked on drugs because it makes them happy. Pornography, loose sex, sex changes, self abuse, instant gratification, believing in absurd ideas like relativism…they all might get you some happy endorphins, but at the end of the day it’s never enough and you feel more broken/depressed as ever.

Selfishness is the god they are ultimately serving and the selfish person always loses everything they held on to so dearly in the end…

Truth is vital. It is a sign of maturity in a world ran by children who can’t even handle their emotions or pain/suffering/sacrifice…which is simply a part of life.

Truth hurts! It sometimes seems insensitive and harsh but that is real love.

When I tell my son that he can’t play near the road because he could be hit by a car. He isn’t too happy about that. It makes him sad and he thinks I’m trying to steal his joy. He might even be a bit offended and hurt by my tone and firmness…but that little dose of truth or (tough love) is important! Vital! Because I love him and don’t want him hurt.

He doesn’t have to like it now, but someday he will know the truth and realize that it exists to keep him safe.

We’ve glorified our emotions and desires over our inner souls and salvation. Our goodness and holiness. The eternal aspects of our being!!

I know this has all been a rant of sorts, and so I want to end on the hope of this message. And that is that God isn’t done yet.

Keep praying for the world, a universal awakening, a coming to terms with the path to destruction many have chosen. That eyes would be opened as time reveals no lasting peace, no ceasing of violence or unity as they trust in their self fashioned morality.

The truth comes out eventually. And evil is exposed, sooner or later. It is at these crossroads that people will either dive deeper into their delusions or finally face the hard truth and bow to it.

Our job as the church is to stand firm, not to conform. And to love as a parent loves their children. Believing and hoping for the best in them to finally win out and shine forth.

It’s time to draw the line again, for gray to become black and white, and for God to reign in the hearts of all mankind. ❤️

God bless you all.

You’ve Already Got It

https://www.facebook.com/zionequip/videos/1018497522426480/?vh=e&d=n

Watching this radical video about healing without prior knowledge of this extraordinary couple would be easy to dismiss as fantasy.

But I can attest to their character and testimony, having attended their church, served there, and even having undergone their school of ministry program.

This church is special to me. These pastors are special. They fear no man and love Jesus wholeheartedly.

They changed our lives, or rather, God moved through them to awaken us sleepers to the truth. And the thing I love about these people of God is that they aren’t afraid to say, “I don’t know.” This is because they have such a faith that someday they will know. And are so in love with Jesus that whether they receive the answer or not, it doesn’t change their decision to press in and give Him all the glory.

I must say that we did see the miraculous at their church, Zion. We saw things in the Spirit that cannot be explained and would appear truly magical to anyone else. We witnessed people healed and were able to be a part of it in some way.

It was an honor and a privilege (a wellspring) of peace and healing during our time here. But God didn’t want us to remain there in paradise and we were deployed back to our hometown. We left on good graces and were even anointed with oil to do work here in Marion.

And today I find myself wondering what happened?…we were taken from the nursery with all the tools we would ever need, but doubt was still rampant in our hearts. And the devil fed our disbelief through horrific tragedies and constant attacks since our blissful time at Zion.

The very first day at Hope we still had that flame. And God even used us that day to pray over a woman having a miscarriage in the bathroom. That baby survived and is healthy and well! Many members of my family began attending church and I was seeing God move in their lives.

But the longer we were removed from the wellspring, the more we forgot what power we carried and our doubts, which had been kept locked away within us began to resurface from those dark depths.

We lost Rachel in a car accident.

The world was thrown into a pandemic.

My son and I suffered constant illnesses (2-3) a month since he was a baby. Even today, I still keep getting it wrong, and have dealt with a severe viral infection and other issues (but thank God, James has only had a runny nose for two weeks and no other symptoms!!)

I must say that amidst all of this I pulled away and that led to picking up my fallen self and pulling from church to the point that I only served in kids ministry (I am director of PreK).

For the first time in my life, I just didn’t want to sing in the worship band. And I struggled with anger towards God and His people (the two go hand-in-hand).

Now, to make the story short, I’m finally healing and seeking God again. Having realized that there is nothing in this world that will fix me or make me whole. Jesus is the only way—and we must all choose to suffer for Him. I say suffer, because Christianity had always been easy until now.

Now, my walk is real. And I need a real faith.

I just read in James that Faith requires works to not only exist but to grow. In other words, we must step out more (even if it’s baby steps) in order to grow our faith. You need to take steps of faith in your own life and healing.

My pastor and his family were very sick one time, and they just said “ no more!” In their spirit and got off the couch and went for a walk. It was the last thing they felt like doing but it was a leap of faith to do so. They were putting their bodies back under their authority and also they were believing they were well before they felt like it.

I wish I had all the answers and all the faith when it came to healing and why sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. But I do believe it’s something worth pursuing the answer to, but not worth the expense of your trust and peace in God and His Will.

I fell down a rabbit hole of lies believing God didn’t care that I was sick when in reality it isn’t about pleading to Him for healing but about opening up the gift of healing He has already given us.

Someday, I too will understand and know. But until then, I trust God, make declarations, take leaps of faith regardless of what I see and feel, and give Him praise.

God bless you all!

How to Pray

“Ask, and the gift is yours. Seek, and you’ll discover. Knock, and the door will be opened for you.” —Matthew 7:7 TPT

Most of us know the verse above by heart, or at least have heard it recited at church or on social media. It seems so simple, so cut and dry. If I ask God for ____ I’ll receive it?! That’s all I have to do?!

Throughout my life I have prayed in different ways and for different things. Typically, what I was taught at each church I attended built upon the next. Just as our maturity in Christ should be ever-growing and expanding upward, so my knowledge and experience about prayer equally grew.

That being said, I’m still just a babe in my understanding of it! And my recent spiritual setback hasn’t exactly helped. But I feel it in my heart to share the things that I have learned in the hopes that you would avoid some of my frustrations and misunderstanding concerning how to pray, how to hear, and how to receive.

So here it goes! Let’s take a look at some more verses on the matter:

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us” (1 John 5:14)

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people” (Ephesians 6:18)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6)

…The list goes on, following a theme of thankfulness and faith with the promise that God hears and desires that we live a prayerful life.

But then we find verses like this:

“…But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do” (James 1:6-8)

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures” (James 4:3)

There are more verses supporting that prayers made by a wicked heart (unrepentant) and intent are not heard by God. But also that those who do not listen to God are in turn ignored during their time of desperation.

“…And just as He called and they would not listen, so they called and I would not listen…” (Zechariah 7:13)

This of course supports the notion that prayer and its success is dependent upon our relationship with God. Certainly at the very least, we cannot expect to hear God if we can’t even recognize His inner voice. This only comes through relationship and if you want to know Him and His voice—that first comes from reading His Word.

So let’s review our list so far of what we have learned about prayer:

1. It requires relationship. Obviously there are circumstances God has heard and responded to the prayers of those who have yet to truly walk with God. Such as children, or those who just began their Christian walk. God is merciful after all.

2. It requires humility and a truly repentant heart. In other words, someone who is saved and whose motives are pure-minded. God isn’t a magical wish granter, but Almighty and worthy of our respect and reverence. You can’t fool Him with dishonesty (He sees the heart behind your words).

3. It requires trust (Faith). Surprise! Not. You have to stand on His truth and His promises. To doubt in His ability, goodness, or willingness is to place more faith in the devil and his schemes. It is to fear (misplaced worship) the devil more so than God. Be honest about this with God and pray for more faith and belief. Read God’s word to grow your faith!

4. It requires the Spirit. The Spirit is God with us. Oftentimes your prayer’s answer and even someone else’s! will come through the Spirit in that He is the bridge or conduit between God and man. Prayer isn’t usually a disembodied letter we speak out, seal up, and send to the stars. In fact, it’s a conversation, a back and forth banter between friends. To pray without ceasing it literally to talk/listen to the Spirit and for Him to respond through his inner voice or through His leadings. Deeper but not unlike how you would speak to your spouse or close friend. The Spirit also prays on our behalf when we don’t have the words.

5. It requires thankfulness/praise. Many verses tie the two together. And even Jesus demonstrated this to His disciples when He taught them the Lord’s Prayer. Begin every prayer with praise, not just because it gives glory where it’s due, but because it re-centers your heart on peace and joy (the blessings you have already been given). A life of thankfulness leads to a joy that is not dependent on prayer’s response.

So in summary, to know God is to share His Heart and Will. Prayers that are non-selfish and pure are heard by the Lord.

A born again believer carries the Holy Spirit within them which means that they carry salvation (when God looks at you He doesn’t see your sin or old self, but Jesus). As well as the ability to not only hear God, and feel His leadings, but to even be the answer to prayer in one another’s lives. We have authority paid for by Jesus to do many things. Among which include (cast out demons and heal the body).

The believer who studies and reads God’s Word, the Bible, grows in relationship and recognition of His voice (discernment). The Word also has power when spoken aloud and memorized (stored in the mind to be used later as fiery weapons against the enemy).

The prayerful believer is one who is always aware of God (Holy Spirit within) and talking/listening to Him as if He were beside you. Just as with a best friend, you aren’t always speaking but you’re always aware of each other’s presence.

And lastly, the prayerful believer lives a life of faith and trust in their best friend, and putting to work their faith, and recognizing all that God has done for them, both seen and unseen—this proves He is all that He says He is.

I want to finish with a thought that struck me today. And that is:

God doesn’t respond to our need. He responds to our Faith.

I believe that my problem as well as many of you reading, is that we ask God out of desperation and want and speak to Him very little the rest of the time. We come trembling before Him, not over our reverence for Him but over the crushing weight of our trials. We doubt. We disbelieve, we pray as a last resort and not our first go to.

We set expectations on God in how He will answer us when really our only expectation should be that He will answer. Faith is simply expecting God to move and trusting that He will provide at just the right time (which usually isn’t on our timing) and in His own way (for He knows what’s best for us).

It’s like taking a leap off of a cliff knowing He will catch us. Or like, in the Bible, Abraham, knife poised ready to kill his son because he believed God would fulfill His promise and save him in time.

Our trust and faith should be just as unwavering and sure. And let me tell you, it will look like insanity to the world who craves assurance, tangible, and scientific fact.

My prayer to all of you is that you will prioritize prayer and Bible reading again in your lives. The world craves it even though they do not know what they want and need. Times are darkening before us and we must choose to either fade into the black or shine brighter still with the truth of Jesus and the works of His Holy Spirit within us.

Reflect on the prayers you have uttered. What was your heart posture behind them? Did you have expectations or doubts? Did you thank God first? Did you come to Him as a first or last resort? Did you listen to His response or leading in your spirit? Did you fail to see His response because you had preconceived ideas of how He would answer you and by which method that answer would come?

Keep and open mind, journal your prayers, and make it a conversation again instead of a formal long distance affair.

God hears you…

He is always speaking to you…

And…He loves you.

Upside Down

“For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” —Psalm 139:13-14

From the moment the pregnancy test showed two faint lines—I knew I was going to be a mother.

Everything changed in that moment of understanding. God had blessed me with a gift, a human being. And it was something to be celebrated regardless of the “how” we would prepare for this new arrival.

The finances, the pregnancy hurdles, my job, all the things we needed…those unknowns paled in comparison to the joy. God would not abandon us, nor our unborn child.

As we prepared, our selfish ways began to melt away. And continued to do so long after our son was born. As is the way with parenthood, we are changed. Willing to sacrifice it all for our kids. They are our legacy—God’s precious jewels, paid for by the blood of Christ. The kings and queens of every nation. Born for such a time as this…

And worthy of protection above all else.

Only…they aren’t protected, far from it in fact. And instead of us willing to die for our kids, now we expect our kids to die for us??

Women are forgetting their own value and identity. So much so that they are killing their offspring and calling it good.

The very same evil that Israel fell into in the Old Testament:

“They sacrificed their sons and their daughters to false gods . They shed innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters, whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan, and the land was desecrated by their blood.” (Psalm 106:37-38)

Today, we sacrifice our children to other idols, the idol of self. Convenience killing. The idol of Feminism. Not the same feminism which once fought for the right to vote, for equality.

This breed of feminism is birthed from a lust for power and to “be” god or the heads of society. The curse against women, was that they would desire to control or rule over their husbands (Genesis 3:16). This began the power struggle between genders.

Of course, through Christ, these curses no longer have influence in our lives. If we are born again, the old self is gone and the new is here. Christ took the sins of the world upon Him so that we could start anew—as blameless as we were in the garden before the fall.

Sadly, much of the world still clings to the fallen man, unrepentant, unchanged because they do not know Christ or have His Spirit within them. If our identity is not in Him then it will be in another—in this case, self/gender/sexual orientation.

Sin is never satisfied where it is, but continually seeks more until death is the result. Like a drug addict, the sinner spirals deeper into deception, and the devil of this world laughs. He knows mankind and our pitfalls, just as he knew Adam and Eve’s. There are no new tricks up his sleeve and none are needed.

And he deceives us so craftily that we don’t even realize it. Like with Eve, he feeds us half truths, not blatant lies. He slowly leads us down a path we would have never taken at the start. And once down it we quickly forget where we were and where we were heading.

People who are lost in wickedness would never call themselves evil. The devil has slowly warped their minds with partial lies and manipulation, until they are brainwashed into believing good to be evil and evil to be good.

So it is with abortion, so it was with child sacrifice. The lines blur, black and white turns to gray, and the moral compass instilled into society through the Word of God, suddenly appears hostile and radical instead of freeing and righteous.

The protection of babies and mothers, the unique and vital roles of men and women, of the family unit all twisted and destroyed in the name of progression. As if this spiral downwards was actually going up, and mankind was becoming righteous by unbecoming it.

I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mother.

Before all of this I was a child. I was a baby. I was a fetus. I was.

The devil hates God and His image bearers so much so that he will do anything to destroy us (since he failed to destroy God and His plans). He destroys us in many ways, knowing full well that simply killing us won’t do the trick since those who believe will return to God in Heaven.

No, he wants to rip us from God and condemn us to hell where he may torment us for all eternity.

How does he do this? Through attacking our identity, making us forget who we are and whose we are. That is why women hate the skin the were born with, the men who they are called to submit to, the children they were made to carry, the roles they were created for, their bodies—their actual gender! They are depressed, constantly searching for lasting joy and fulfillment, for purpose, and love that isn’t empty and twisted.

In this way they live yet are dead. They mock and blaspheme God by their rebellion and mutilation and sin. And the devil stomps on them with glee, making them low and sick and a banquet meal for demons.

“But what about the rape victims?” “What about this or that?” “What about the men?”

All these pointless questions and accusations over Roe v. Wade being overturned is making me ill.

What about the CHILDREN? It’s like watching a house burn and asking the home owners, did you save the phone charger? Hmm? Did you leave the curling iron on?

Let’s talk about these questions AFTER the unborn are protected! The less than 1% of pregnant rape victims, the responsibility of the fathers, the freak accidents or scenarios in which debates and discussions should be had can wait til after we stop the greatest genocide in all of history!

“Well I believe abortion is ok at conception” or “it’s ok at so and so a point or under these circumstances.”

No!

Evil begets more evil. Abortion began this way and now look at it. You can abort your full term baby! You can’t keep it at conception, it can’t be stopped this way. No compromises! You’re either for it entirely or against it entirely!

It’s time we take a stand! That we raise our voices over this issue for the sake of those who are voiceless and for the women as well! They are given misinformation, they are often treated like they don’t have a choice at Planned Parenthood and other pro-abortion clinics that just want your money and your baby parts to sell! Fathers are also being stripped of their voice, it’s just as much their child. You want men to take responsibility? Allow them to have a voice in their children’s life!

This world is upside down and only we can right it again through revival and truth. And most importantly—love. A love that cares for everyone, every gender, every soul, regardless of where they are (born or unborn).

If we won’t stand for life, we stand for our own death.

Pray.

Volunteer at your local pro-life pregnancy center.

Sign up for March/Walk for Life. If there are no groups in your town doing this you can start your own.

Donate to pregnant mothers and offer them aid/counsel/support in any way you can. Pregnancy is hard (I know) but not impossible! Women need to believe in themselves and their strength again.

Support/follow activists and their organizations which offer other resources to these women and speak on our behalf on mainstream media and political boards.

Call out hypocrisy! Those who say they are brothers in Christ who are attacking the people and not the sin. This causes severe damage in reaching the lost and doesn’t save lives.

If I came across as harsh, please understand. I am zealous about this issue. If I died tomorrow I want my legacy to reflect that I cherish life and the life of innocent children most of all. I work as a Sunday school teacher and have a son myself. I see first hand the unique giftings each child brings to the world.

They are world changers.

Give them a world that can be saved.

❤️

Keeping Up Appearances

He had a nice car…

Clean and spotless in the driveway. His yard overgrown, weeds obscuring the old forgotten toys, which were once just as shiny new.

He had nice clothes…

Name brand shoes and latest trends, all hung in a closet, doorless and alit by a flickering light.

He had a nice wife…

Curvy, beautiful—Fake. With eyes that reflected only cellphone screens and secret lovers. Ears deaf to the cry of her children as they moved from one new distraction to another, looking for something to fill the void.

He had nice kids…

They clung to his name brand clothes as he walked out the door, placed their handprints on the fresh gleam of his car as he sped off. Another night, another fight.

He had a nice home.

With trash piled high, broken glass. Repairs neglected, and the smell of drugs in the air. But, it had a big yard, fenced in, a “do not enter” sign nailed to the gate. Pit Bulls growling at all who passed.

He had a nice life…

Parties, laughter, drugs…all rushing to fill the void his own childhood had denied him. Washing ashore only to find that he isn’t satisfied. Jumping back into the consuming sea again and again until he inevitably drowns…

His kids taken.

His wife already leeching off of another while his home is bulldozed to the ground.

The neighbors shaking their heads at the state of his life. Their words vague and empty of compassion or knowledge of this man or his family.

Admitting simply as they parted…

He had a nice car.