The Good Guys

I’m 29 weeks pregnant and to say time is flying is an understatement. Each day is a blur of toddler demands, runny noses, and baby kicks.

It’s been difficult in all the madness to even process what awaits us in 10 weeks. Will I still be able to hold my first child close and watch Blippi? Will I be able to read him books and tuck him into bed?

I’ve had to face the undisciplined way we live as an article so pointed out my flaws by saying; “at least before baby 2 comes, your toddler is going to bed at 8 regularly.” I love how they assumed that. 😑

Despite all my best efforts, my child goes to bed at 11 and stays up talking and singing in bed til 12:30-1am. And as for potty training? It’s been hit or miss…

Can I even hope for normalcy with two kids? I honestly don’t know. But despite my flaws as a parent, I’ve done something right.

James is a loving boy, gentle, and excited for his new brother. He loves to help and lately, he loves superhero’s, namely Spider-Man (or rather, Spidey and His Amazing Friends). Watching Spidey, Spin, and Ghost Spider protect the city by stopping the villains has led to my son wondering what makes a good guy “good” and a bad guy “bad.”

At first, he asked me, “is Spidey a bad guy?” “How about Rhino?” “The Green Goblin?” It was easy to answer those questions because their actions spoke for themselves. Do they hurt people? Then they are bad. Do they help people? Then they are good.

But those questions soon involved a lot more. Am I a good guy? He asked. And so went his questions about who in his life is good and bad, not leaving out a single person, animal, or thing.

Do we beat up bad guys? My little boy once wanted to be a doctor, now he wants to beat up bad guys 😂 watch out Spider-Man. His questions though led me to think about people and things in a deeper way. In real life, bad guys aren’t always so transparent. Good guys can be bad, bad guys can be good. It’s all rather difficult. Even I am capable of making mistakes that would make my son think I was bad. Yikes!

With all his questions I try to be honest and I don’t diss the effort to explain things that are too complex. Because I know, having worked with kids, that they are capable of understanding more than we realize. And more importantly, that if we don’t give them an answer, they will find the answer through some other way or some other person.

I’m sure you can see the potential harm in that.

And so, as my son nears his 3rd birthday, I will continue to explain and demonstrate what good is. The only way I can do that without fail is to turn him to God and His definition of good. Before the world teaches him their definition. I will instill the truth in his good heart. A heart that longs to be a hero needs first to have their own heroine. I hope that in time…Spider-Man won’t have all the answers, won’t be the ultimate hero in his life…in time, I hope he sees that Jesus is his hero. He doesn’t fail. He doesn’t show up too late but is always on time. And He is truly good.

“Am I a good guy?” He asks me innocently. “Yes, honey…you are good and you’re on the side of the good guys.”


Fear of the Lord

When we think of “fearing” the Lord, we usually conjure up images from the Old Testament.

The flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, the sacredness of the Holy of Holies, the Ark of the Covenant, the many times in which people dropped dead because of their sin…

Every nation learned to “fear” the Lord and His people. And many times, when His people turned from Him, He brought them back through punishment (correction) and fear.

He was, and is, a jealous God. Passionate to His lovers, and just as zealous toward His foes. He is all powerful, all knowing, all holy, and yet—all love.

And that is what we have sought under our new covenant. His love. Forgetting that love is also submission, sacrifice, and reverent awe toward the being that bends low for our sake, and for our redemption.

Jesus was the only way we could truly enter His presence again. The sacrifice of lambs was never enough, no matter how spotless and innocent they were, they could not cover the cost of our sin. And likewise, God could not deny Himself and His Holiness to be with us. As we read, most could not survive it.

-The rope tied to the priest who entered the Holy of Holies in case he died. The time Uzzah, one of the Ark bearers, carelessly slipped and touched the Ark and died as well.

God was there, but had to remain distant. Unlike how He walked (beside) Adam and Eve in the Garden.

Today of course, we are symbolically in that Garden again. With God’s own Holy Spirit “in” us! We’re now His dwelling place!

But like the Jews, we have forgotten the fear of the Lord in our time of peace.

Churches will preach of God’s mercy and love until they are blue in the face, but will kindly skip over our proper response toward Him.

Praise and worship isn’t merely thanksgiving for all He has done, but an open acknowledgment of all that He is. A submissive awe, a reverence for His greatness and goodness. It is through our fear that we truly understand how blessed we really are.

Think of it! The God of the universe created us because He wanted us to exist. He made us in His image and gave us authority (dominion) to reign with Him. He created the stars and earth for us to enjoy and marvel at.

He then lowered Himself to be with us and to know us intimately! He wants to be involved in every fabric of your life, as both our Father (we call Him father!) and friend. And He has promised us an eternal inheritance with Him.

Despite all our sin and rebellion, despite killing His heavenly Son, He still loves us, and could never bring Himself to destroy us. He gave us His Son to save us. Our very God, romanced His creation and gave all that He could give to save it. He became a man and dwelt with us in order to serve and to know what it’s like to be us.

And now we carry His heart within us—the new temples of His dwelling place. All He ever wanted (our hearts and love) is now His throne seat.

How can we look at this and not marvel? How can we not fall to our knees in reverent praise? How could we ever dare sin against Him and His Son? How can we be a part of the greatest story ever told and it not transform every fabric of our lives?

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…” (Job 28:28, Psalm 111:10, Proverbs 9:10…)

It is this fear that should propel us into action when the Holy Spirit calls us to it. Why? Because if we truly fear the Lord we wouldn’t have room in our hearts for fear of man.

In our understanding of God and His character we wouldn’t hesitate or doubt Him. But would instead fear missing out on His goodness!

It is the church that has hidden all verses containing the word fear and the Lord together. And that is because of today’s culture and it’s definition ascribed to “fear.”

Clearly, the Hebrew/Greek meaning differs to our current one. There are many types of fear and not all of them are bad. In this instance fear equates to reverence/respect/awe. Not punishment/abuse/harm etc.

God doesn’t want us to cower before Him as we have even seen displayed in the Bible, when angels appeared before the Jews they said, “do not fear!” God doesn’t want servants who follow out of fear but friends who follow out of genuine love. However, we cannot dismiss this reverence that is so called, “the beginning of wisdom”, and much more in the Bible.

I suppose a more relevant example of this healthy fear, is our respect for authority; police officers, judges, etc. Or even our respect and submission to our husbands (in healthy relationships—the husband is the head who requires respect, while the wife is the helper who requires love).

God is not a dictator or a bully. Just like in marriage, there is sacrificial giving on both ends. We (the church/bride of Christ) are to respect Him, while as He (the groom) loves us unconditionally (Ephesians 5:25).

Today, I witnessed the fear of man play out before me and immediately laughed at the insanity of it. I fear the Lord more.

He is love. And in His love He will let us choose whether to remain in that love or not. And such is where the very real fear of Hell exists. Hell is…in all honestly, the only place where God’s presence doesn’t exist.

Even in the darkest corners of the earth, God’s presence can still be found or felt by His people. We have taken this for granted and can’t even begin to understand what it would be like to not have access to Him. It is through Him we have any hope/peace/joy/purpose/security—you name it! Without Him there is only darkness.

And sadly, many will choose that darkness.

I must say that I am still discovering what it means to fear the Lord my God. But I believe that it is vital to know and understand fully what this means, for our sake and for the effectiveness of the church.

Too often I have witnessed either a church that has removed the “God-ness” from God (the laws, and the punishment of sin) or a church that has completely removed the love and mercy of God, His “Human-ness” as you will—in the form of Jesus Christ (our new Adam).

Both are toxic places to be as neither truly understood who God is and who we are in relation to Him. We are neither worms nor equals. (The true worth and value of humanity has already been determined by God/Jesus Himself!)

We will go deeper into the subject of our worth/value next time. For now let us merely reflect on our heart posture toward God. Do you fear Him? Do you find it hard to grasp the majesty of God and His great love for us? Or do you struggle to view Him as God at all?

In other words, who is God to you?

It’s a boy! 💙

Benjamin Edward Slob

Last week we finally had our anatomy ultrasound for our second child to determine the gender.

I knew in my heart that it was another boy. With my first, I felt so strongly that it was a girl that I blinked in shock at the screen.

Now James has a brother…and I’m no novice, but a level 2 boy mom 😅, it’s fitting though! As a preschool teacher at my church and having worked at a daycare previously, boys are less drama.

Oh still a handful! But I’ve always known how to handle them and have loved what they love…dinosaurs, digging in the dirt, adventures, bugs…it’s all up my alley.

This pregnancy has been both easier and harder. I can’t just spoil myself and lay around bonding with this new kicking child in my stomach. Now I have a 2 1/2 year old to contend with.

But the excitement is multiplied for sure! Covid is over (as far as I’m concerned) and so are it’s penitentiary-like regulations which made it impossible to “enjoy” my first birth experience.

Now I can truly celebrate! And to make things even more special…James gets to meet his brother.

Will he be excited? Upset? Confused?

I’ve tried very hard to explain it to him in a way he can grasp. He knows there’s a baby in my tummy, but does he know what that means for him?

James has been tied around my finger since birth. And potty training hasn’t gone great. He still wakes up once or twice a night for a drink. At nap, he still prefers the nook of my arm.

Will he adapt to sharing mommy? Will Aaron and I adapt to two kids? Will I?

It’s been harder to grasp the reality this time. This baby was a surprise, and having James to care for has made it hard to really think much about the other child within me. But boy those kicks are increasing and with it—I can’t ignore the coming day any longer!

My eyes were glued to every movement on that ultrasound. The way he held his head in his little hands and sucked his thumb. Twisting and rolling to find a more comfortable position in the cramped space.

I’m 20 weeks tomorrow and already hunting for all the items I need. Car seats, bassinets, diaper bag…everything I had borrowed the first time or had sold/threw away I now need again asap!

It’s exciting and scary. I haven’t forgotten my last birth experience. The epidural and actual birth was the most pleasant part of the whole process. The only time I could truly escape into numbness from the pain and trauma.

When I held James it didn’t feel real. I was so much in shock that it took me awhile to feel. But my body did seem to know what to do…it knew how to hold my son, how to feed him, and I couldn’t help but pull his little rolling crib beside my bed the first night at the hospital.

This time, I have to consider visitors, being able to pass my son over to my family for a well earned nap or shower. I’ll be allowed to watch his first bath! Just another moment I was denied before.

My due date is June 8th. My first son was due the 7th (born May 30th). And my birthday is May 29. 😅 One of us may lose a birthday.

I really could use some prayer as I continue to navigate pregnancy and as I welcome this new baby into the world and into our home. You all have been a positive blessing to me, and I appreciate all your kind words and prayers throughout the years.

Thank you! God bless ❤️

To Die is Gain

“Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come.” -Isaiah 57:1

God directed me to this verse after I, again, began to grow tired and angry toward something that was promised to us. Authority over illness.

Don’t worry! No one is dying! God was just wanting me to understand that there are factors I can’t understand. He is God and I’m not.

I can’t solely blame my lack of faith, or lack of relationship, or commitment to reading His Word for a healing that wasn’t immediate. Perhaps, our response should be simple, even when the answer isn’t.

But regardless of what happens, whether I see healing or not in this life. God is still good. And my love for Him shouldn’t depend on what I go through or what I feel in the moment, or even by what He does for me.

At the end of the day, we must all evaluate why we follow Jesus and why we love God. Let me put it this way…if God never did another thing for you—would you still love Him?

I’ve learned a lot recently about my own contribution to answered prayer. That my faith is key to allowing the Holy Spirit to move through me in authority.

A friend of mine said it best by quoting someone (comment below if you know!) during a sermon on faith:

He said, “Don’t tell God about your circumstances, tell your circumstances about God!”

This isn’t saying we shouldn’t pray, but that a lot of our prayers would find their resolution through us. If we were to discover what Christ paid for and to take up that authority—we could essentially become the answer to many prayers (through the release of the Holy Spirit power within us).

Or have we forgotten that Christ (God) is in us? That we are now His temple and dwelling place?

Healing is ours… and even the raising of the dead! But there is a reason that such miracles aren’t common place and aren’t always successful.

Perhaps, aside from our lack of faith…the verse at the top is one other answer as to why?

When I read it, I instantly thought of another verse:

“To live is Christ, to die is gain.” -Philippians 1:21

I began to think about what that means in a deeper way. In order to understand the verse we have to understand who Christ was. He was the Son of God yes, but He was also a servant who came to sacrifice.

To live is to sacrifice (lay down our life) like Christ, to die is to (pick up our life or gain it).

Give vs. Receive.

We aren’t here to just take, take, take. This life isn’t about me or you or even your kids. It’s about living as Christ. It’s about sacrifice and service. Fulfilling God’s call and purpose for your life…until He calls you home and gives you the mantel (crown) equivalent to your life’s surrendered-ness to Him.

If we are to take, it is to take back the territory satan has held captive. Healing and other miracles aren’t something we take but something we already have. Gifts. Just as salvation is a gift we can either receive or cast aside.

I’m not sure if this is a word for you today, but if it is, I pray that you too will realize that you have power, that your job isn’t to have all the answers or to get it right every time when it comes to miracles and works. It’s all about Him and living in the moment with Him. Offering our lives as a sacrifice just as Jesus laid down His life daily for us.

Press in, let go, and perhaps, more miracles will happen on accident than they ever did on purpose.

And should life breath it’s last…God’s hand of protection is on those who are asleep, and they have been given their promised inheritance and crowned with victory.

Stirring the Pot

Anyone else have difficulty holding their tongue these days?

To the morally and biblically bound, it seems as if the world has lost its mind. And what better place to air our frustrations than the media.

I find it exceedingly difficult at times to hold my tongue when I’m scrolling Facebook and come across posts that press me in all the wrong ways. But is it really worth saying my piece?

Should I stir the pot?

“You’re never going to win an argument on social media,” a pastor once told me. How true his words were. No matter how kind, persuasive, and understanding I try to be, my words always seem to pass unheard over the screaming rage of those in spiritual denial.

I’m not saying that we should never speak. But, perhaps the social media isn’t the pulpit in which we are to wage this war. A war that is purely spiritual won’t be won by emotionalism and eloquent speech. It is only won through relationships.

Prove to the world that what we believe is right by how you live and love. Stand strong and unmoving in your peace and faith, and always be the first to surprise your enemies with an act of mercy and compassion.

Let go of the hatred, the malice toward the person (our battle is not against flesh and blood, remember?) and just mirror the heart of Jesus.

He maintained truth even while He ate with sinners, they never once felt unloved or judged by Him. In fact, it was the religious Pharisees that were offended by His love!

This world may seem crazy, but if you only knew the truth behind the crazy…the brokenness, pain, shame, fatherlessness, and more that fuels the flames of this new age thinking, maybe then we can start to understand and love a little deeper.

Our words are void without works to prove their legitimacy. Walk what you preach. Raise families, have children, read the Bible in your home, pray, go to church…change the world.

And instead of stirring the pot—you will have stirred a revival instead.

God bless you all as you face opposition and persecution for your beliefs. God wants to use you and likewise, transform your own heart into His likeness.

This Christmas, do not shrink from the traditions, do not cover up your light, sing to Jesus, attend Christmas Eve services, celebrate our Lord’s birth just as before. Spread the love to those who need it most. Give! Bless a family in Jesus name with money, gifts, or food. Pray for those who are hurting and surround them so that they aren’t alone.

Be the church again! And fear not…fear not for your possessions, your finances, your very life. The Lord will bless you for your passionate faith.

Amen ❤️

When Fear Takes The Throne

Fear Kills

Fear. Doubt. Worry.

They fight to take hold of my mind daily. It’s nothing new, I’ve faced off against fear my entire life. Many times the feeling of fear was justified—my reaction too it, maybe not so much.

Fear can be harnessed and used properly. It can motivate us instead of cripple us in a crisis if we keep it in its proper place. Far, far away from the throne seat of our heart and actions.

However, the moment we partner with it and allow it a place of honor and power is the moment we begin to hand over our authority to the devil.

Fear, in truth, is misplaced worship. Is more faith in something that isn’t God. And the thing about God is He will allow you to choose who you will empower. Will you empower His Holy Spirit within you? Or will you empower the devil and his demons to move against you?

I’m constantly teetering on the edge of both. One moment I am won over by truth, the next I am swayed by what I’ve seen. Death to those close to me, loss, disaster…if it happened to them, what makes me any more immune?

But there is something I cannot see. So much more…maybe fear took the throne seat of their hearts? Maybe power was given over without realizing it and the devil made his move? Maybe, things just happen. And God isn’t any less good because of it.

I see their stories and forget my own in the mess. God has always protected me, healed me, watched over my family, saved my life from sheer disaster, I can name all the stories as if they happened yesterday…

God saved my life when I nearly fell out of an amusement park ride.

He saved my dad’s life when his heart stopped one evening as he was watching tv.

He turned the wheel just in time when my mom and I were in a car accident (avoiding a head on collision).

He protected my unborn child as I was struck in the passenger side by a speeding vehicle.

Notice that the catastrophes still happened, but the outcome was victory. All these moments can be viewed in two ways, depending on my mindset at any given time.

I can either look at all the mess and think, “man, I was in a lot of horrible situations that God could have kept from happening.” Or I can think, “man, God has been so good to me, that when then devil tried to take me out—he failed every time.”

What am I really afraid of? Death? Even that thought sounds ridiculous if I truly believe in the Word. “To live is Christ, to die is gain.”

Am I afraid of pain? Of loss? Unfortunately, being a Christian doesn’t mean a life free of pain or loss. We aren’t immune to this broken world and we essentially have targets painted on our backs for carrying Christ. We are enemy #1 to the devil and are far from safe. But we shouldn’t be the ones shaking…our enemy is already defeated and he is scared witless by us.

And to the Christians who truly come alive and utilize the Holy Spirit within them…there’s nothing the devil can do even onto death.

My fear is in my weakness apart from God. My fear is in my inability to not fear. To use the faith He paid for. It isn’t a fear that He won’t come through, but that I won’t.

God has limited Himself to working through us. But we have to allow Him to move in and through us or in our hesitancy, in our fear, we will lose.

How do I keep my fear under check?

1. Read the Word constantly. Remind yourself of truth, dwell on it and it will transform you and your mind. The voice of truth must be greater than the other voices you indulge in. TV news, Shows, your friends, your family, your own inner voice…

2. When you fear a swell of fear, breathe. Step back and ask the Holy Spirit to highlight what’s really going on in the Spirit realm. If you can recognize the devil’s schemes for what they are, it gives you an edge. You can then pray specifically against it and divert your actions into a more spiritual warfare stance instead of physical.

3. Laugh. They say that when you dog is scared, to laugh out loud. This reassures them that there is nothing to be afraid of. Likewise, when we laugh, we exhibit an outward action of faith (regardless of how we inwardly feel this is important).

4. Do the opposite of your fear. Like I said above. Do what you are afraid of doing, physically force yourself to move, to keep living like nothing is wrong. Make plans, laugh, go for a walk, smile, put fear in its proper place and don’t let it dictate your next move.

5. Speak against it. Say positive declarations or verses over yourself (words carry incredible power). Likewise, you must rebuke your negative words spoken in fear that they wouldn’t give the devil a foothold. And lastly, this includes sharing your fear. Speak about it to those you trust spiritually, and cling to their advice and encouragement. You’re never alone.

This pregnancy has me feeling more afraid. But I can see the devil’s schemes and know that they are powerless so long as I don’t pay them any heed. For my moments of weakness, I repent to God and move on.

God, forgive me, and help my unbelief! I’m still learning and willing to grow. Please, help me to trust and to keep fear in check. You are my God, my protector, and my reason for breathing. I know I didn’t choose the easy path, but I also know that you promised to be with us always and by your Son, we have authority (the very same He has!). Guide me, oh Lord, and help me in my moments of weakness. And may yours be the Glory in all circumstances, Amen.

True Beauty

My toddler rolls over in bed and touches my face. “Eww,” he says, innocently observing the obvious outbreak of Rosacea (something I never had until this year).

He closes his eyes and nestles into my arm, sound asleep. Meanwhile I stare at the ceiling mourning the beauty I once had. It wasn’t so long ago I had a slim body, tan, and a flawless complexion. My stomach was free of stretch marks and hernias, my hair and clothes had more thought put into them.

I was radiant with beauty. Or was I?

My definition of outward beauty reflected the world’s. But how quickly we dismiss the fact that the world’s definition of beauty changes in time.

Pudgy used to be sought over slender so many years ago. It showed health and fertility. On the same hand, pale skin meant that you were wealthy enough to stay indoors and avoid the harsh sun that we now seek out all summer long.

No, I am convinced now that beauty isn’t a certain set of standards but an ever-changing thing. My husband taught me this early on…he liked my messy hair pulled back hastily over the meticulous styled look that was beaten into me during my teen years.

He didn’t mind me skinny, but preferred that I was healthy. (I was underweight for my size back then). The hernia’s never bothered him, even after they were surgically fixed only to return as I carried our unborn son in my stretching stomach.

He didn’t care that I had stretch marks, that my weight stayed, that I now have Rosacea marking my face in red.

He never cared because he loves me, the beauty within and surprisingly the changing beauty of my outer appearance.

Let’s face it women. You can only grasp on to this world’s idea for so long, eventually you will change and later you’ll find that the world is changing too. Just like fashion. Stopping chasing what you were never made to chase, because it’s mere vapor anyway, you’ll never catch it.

There are times like this, with my son poking at my face, that I feel a pang of sadness over the me I once was. But it quickly passes when I turn my gaze off of myself and onto the little being beside me. He will always be beautiful (handsome) and perfect to me.

Even when he hits those teen years and his flawless skin experiences the hormonal zits that come with it. I would still find him just as perfect.

If my husband finds me beautiful during my life seasons and I can likewise feel the same awe at God’s design when I look at my son. Why can’t I feel that same acceptance with myself?

God loves me as I am. And “as I am” will always change. Maybe true beauty isn’t what we think it is….maybe true beauty is change.

The scars, the rings under our eyes, the marks on our faces, the slight pudge around our waist…they tell a story of change. And as I hold my son I think…what a beautiful story that is.

It proves that I have lived. And that I have contributed to this world something more valuable than myself. And that work has left it’s marks on my temporary frame.

I’m pregnant again, and I wonder vaguely if my body will bear more stretch marks, more battle scars.

I smile at the mirror and shrug.

The “Do Over”

“Only” to “Oldest”

Hello everyone! It’s been awhile! Praying all of you are well. I told myself I wouldn’t stop posting this time and here we are….life is a roller coaster of changes and sometimes those changes pull me away from writing unfortunately.

What changes do I speak of? First, I have dived deep into the art of reselling and it’s honestly been well worth it! As a stay at home mom, side hustles have to fit neatly into certain boxes and be well worth the time put in to it. (Stay tuned for some reselling posts as I really want to share what I’ve learned these past few months).

Second, motherhood and church have taken a priority over my writing lately. And time just hasn’t been available. Even now, I’m writing in the small window before my son awakes and like any ticking bomb I’m not entirely sure when it will go off and my time will be up.

At church, I’ve been pouring into my duties and into others. I will later share more about what that has done for my life since the past two years I had pulled away from God and my spiritual family.

Third, my husband has been hard at work with college to become a web designer. I couldn’t be more proud of him, and he only has until the spring of next year before he graduates and we can begin this new chapter.

But that isn’t the only new chapter we will be starting…

I’m pregnant.

Baby #2 is officially in the making. And he/she wasn’t in our plans and quite an unexpected surprise. James, my first, is now 2 1/2 years old and will be 3 when our next one is born.

We had plans to wait another year, God had another plan…but I’ve always said “your will be done.” Who am I that I can stop/control the coming of a new soul into the world—for such a time as this??

I didn’t feel the same way at first when I saw that “+” appear. I was afraid, in shock, even sad for those few minutes when I was the first awake and the house was peaceful and still.

I’ve loved this chapter, or at least I have finally learned to love it. The chapter of James and Me. Now set to expire by June…as our next chapter involves all of us.

Aaron will have a new job that allows him to be home more. And I’ll have a talking 3 year old and a baby on my hip.

But I’m wiser this time.

I feel like I have graduated myself. That I’ve “leveled up” as a mother. I made so many mistakes with James that I know I won’t make this time around.

The sadness turned to joy and acceptance very quickly.

-I’m different, so this time will be different.

-I’m not alone this time, and I get to experience this with James, Aaron, and my church family!

-no covid pandemic! Yay! My family can actually celebrate with me at the hospital. No masks! No covid test! No penitentiary feeling of being trapped!

-And then there’s James, who gets to walk into our room and see his forever friend for the first time. I don’t expect him to understand or even accept it at first, but I know from my own life how I longed for a sibling and didn’t realize it until I needed one.

Please pray for us as we navigate this new normal. The devil has been very obvious in his attempts to destroy our joy and peace. I believe that his attacks aren’t just set on us—I know you too are facing the heat. But be reassured! The time of the Lord’s coming is at hand! Each day is one day closer, and we must keep doing what He called us to.

Let Him find you working, harvesting, marrying, loving, raising families, and living life unto Him. In this way the Bride of Christ remains ready for Him.

With love always,


Dispeller of Darkness

“Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lamp stand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others…”
—Matthew 5:15-16

I was given a convicting message Sunday about our (the church’s) duty as the light of the world. How we have no problem cursing darkness but take little responsibility for our own actions, or rather, inaction.

For example, when you walk into a basement and the light doesn’t work, do you get angry at the darkness? The darkness is merely the absence of light. It is doing what it always does, and the very term “darkness” is an artificial construct for sake of speech. No, you get angry at the light and try to fix the bulb.

The church and its light, therefore, hasn’t been shining brightly—that is why there is so much darkness in the world.

We must face it, our inaction led to this. We allowed our children to rebel, we spared the rod of discipline, and we failed to love them truly as we sought their friendship and acceptance instead.

Some churches did not spare the rod, but their correction was without the love of Christ. They chased their children away with whips and made them feel like they could never return or be forgiven, unlike the parable of the prodigal son.

We avoided truth. Watering it down with half truths. The world came asking for direction and answers and since we were silent they turned to the governing powers of this world for their “truth.”

Without the Bible (Spoken Word of God) as the lens in which we perceive truth—the world has twisted good and evil and has done so, not caring about those who come hungrily knocking. They care only about power and money, and in fact, make their living off of our lost children’s desperation.

The government is like an abusive foster parent. Manipulative and outwardly noble in that they praise and pour out gifts upon their children, spoiling them with things that bring temporary joy but ultimately rot the soul.

They let them loose to their own wants and desires. Ask any child who was allowed to roam free in a candy store and they will tell you that they love the one who opened that door and let them do it—even as they moan from the resulting stomach ache.

Under this foster system, you must reject everything that your birth parents taught you. Girls can’t be girls, boys can’t be boys, you can’t be wrong, though your parents must be. Your body is not sacred, your desires are. The feasts of your flesh should govern your life and you should find identity in those lusts. Anything that causes you discomfort or hurts your feelings (makes you face the fact that you have a stomach ache in your soul) is bad! And doesn’t deserve any rights.

Sex and love are interchangeable. The ensuing results—depression/mental issues which are then worn like a badge of honor that make you even more special. (As if you weren’t special at the moment of conception)

Seriously, these foster parents smile fondly upon those who have completely destroyed the image of God upon them. Why?

Because the true foster parent they all share is the devil. He doesn’t care if you’re momentarily happy, so long as your ignorant of the fact that you are destroying yourself fully, mutilating yourself both physically and spiritually, then he is quite pleased.

It is purely evil what is happening in the dark. And where is the light that dispels the darkness?? The light that puts the devil in his place because he is already defeated??

Our job is to constantly enforce Christ’s victory on the Earth. To remind our children that they too can reign and live empowered. That the devil only has power if we give it to him.

We must affirm their identities in Christ Jesus. That they are loved fully and known fully by their creator. They lack nothing and are beautifully made. They have so much value, too much to be left as they are, given over to their own wants and wills. They aren’t mindless cattle, emotion without thought—no, in God, they have a sound mind that is wise and sees through the devil’s futile schemes to destroy their self worth.

Wake up church! Stop seeking the world’s embrace when Christ set us apart. He said the world would hate us! As it should, since it is the kingdom of satan. We are ambassadors here—belonging to another place (the kingdom of God).

Uncover your light and let it shine. You are victors and all darkness must flee before your blinding light.

For the sake of our children. His children. Shine brightly.

The Moral Dilemma

We see it on the news, hear it on the radio, read it in the newspaper or on the web…

It’s in our schools, in our day-to-day discussions at work or at home…

And even in our churches…

“It” is, in essence, our moral compass. How we perceive the world, justice, good and evil. How we judge others and hate. How we love or what we deem worthy of our love.

As we talk or vent on social media we do so through a lens. We either filter all that we see through the Word of God and His Holy Spirit or we filter it through our own heart and emotions (self righteousness).

The fact is, that many believe that our world is gray when really it still remains black and white. Good is still Good, Evil is still Evil. And most importantly—God is STILL God.

When we sit on the throne seat, the image above ensues. Why? Because we can’t define Good or Evil apart from the Word of God or His discerning Spirit. This is why they have come up with the nonsensical term “relative truth.” As if truth only existed in our minds and not in reality.

Under a relativistic world, we can ‘rightly’ say:

“2+2=4…or 3, or 7, or 5….they’re all the right answer! So long as it’s true to you and what you feel in the moment or want, it doesn’t matter!”

To translate this simply, what they’re really saying is: “WE are all gods! WE define what is good and evil and you know what? That definition is liquid and changing and different for everyone—so coexist or suffer the wrath of us gods!”

That is why the world is in chaos and divided in nearly every way. And those who still have their wits about them are reaping the financial benefits of our collective insanity.

We can’t universally determine truth apart from God! We can’t handle a god-complex without becoming prideful and arrogant. And of course, completely deranged (self deceived). The devil is having a field day in the hearts and minds of such people. They really are his to manipulate and carry out his bidding.

They are wild, rebellious, wicked, and blindly foolish. They are deeply discontented and depressed, angry and broken, and they are by definition the very things they hatefully accuse us of being.

God’s Word must be the line in the sand. The undeniable truth we all stand on again!

Otherwise, we will never be united or truly free. The pursuit of happiness isn’t what we should be after! Happiness is a choice, not something you find or have to chase down. Women are aborting their babies in pursuit of happiness, married couples are divorcing because they no longer “feel” happy, and this creates a cycle of infatuation—marriage—loss of happiness—divorce.

People are hooked on drugs because it makes them happy. Pornography, loose sex, sex changes, self abuse, instant gratification, believing in absurd ideas like relativism…they all might get you some happy endorphins, but at the end of the day it’s never enough and you feel more broken/depressed as ever.

Selfishness is the god they are ultimately serving and the selfish person always loses everything they held on to so dearly in the end…

Truth is vital. It is a sign of maturity in a world ran by children who can’t even handle their emotions or pain/suffering/sacrifice…which is simply a part of life.

Truth hurts! It sometimes seems insensitive and harsh but that is real love.

When I tell my son that he can’t play near the road because he could be hit by a car. He isn’t too happy about that. It makes him sad and he thinks I’m trying to steal his joy. He might even be a bit offended and hurt by my tone and firmness…but that little dose of truth or (tough love) is important! Vital! Because I love him and don’t want him hurt.

He doesn’t have to like it now, but someday he will know the truth and realize that it exists to keep him safe.

We’ve glorified our emotions and desires over our inner souls and salvation. Our goodness and holiness. The eternal aspects of our being!!

I know this has all been a rant of sorts, and so I want to end on the hope of this message. And that is that God isn’t done yet.

Keep praying for the world, a universal awakening, a coming to terms with the path to destruction many have chosen. That eyes would be opened as time reveals no lasting peace, no ceasing of violence or unity as they trust in their self fashioned morality.

The truth comes out eventually. And evil is exposed, sooner or later. It is at these crossroads that people will either dive deeper into their delusions or finally face the hard truth and bow to it.

Our job as the church is to stand firm, not to conform. And to love as a parent loves their children. Believing and hoping for the best in them to finally win out and shine forth.

It’s time to draw the line again, for gray to become black and white, and for God to reign in the hearts of all mankind. ❤️

God bless you all.